Thursday, March 02, 2006

My other conscience

My therapist completely disagreed with what's been going on the past few days. She think I've totally overanalyze and jumped to negative conclusions about KT. As I look over at a sheet on my cube wall, I am reminded, "Release expectation and judgment: Constantly judging other and obsessing over unmet expectations contaminates the present. Let go of your expectations and focus on something in your life that is good right now."

I get the sense she thought I was being unreasonable in expecting him to ask farther ahead of time for a date. She called me on using the same tactics of denying him time to penalize him which is somewhat true. This is hard for me because I've often felt that I've been taken advantage of in my life, personal and professional. It's hard to see the line between being nice and being stepped on.

She wants me to just get to know him. It's such a different perspective from all the women I've consulted who are suspicious of him. Is she out of touch or are all us younger women unrealistic? Something doesn't jive here. Maybe she's right, but I find it hard to believe that all us women are being that difficult.

So I did call KT and say that I would be watching the game with a friend. He immediately wrote back and said that if it was a big group that he'd like to join us. I talked with Ig about it. I didn't want him feeling like a third wheel. I know his natural reaction is to back out of these situations. I assured him that there's nothing going on with KT and that we're just getting to know each other. More importantly, I want to watch this game with Ig and would first tell KT "no" rather than bail on him. He was amused by the whole thing. He said he "sell" me in the conversation. I told him to just be himself. My only request was not to embarrass me by telling KT stories of my oddball behaviour.

So I left KT a message about joining us. We'll see what he decides to do. I asked him to let me know he intends to join us.

No comments: