Monday, March 27, 2006

When you meet a non-ideal man

On the drive to the movies last night, we were asking Sh about her "blind" date on Thursday. She said that it went almost too well. The fellow was so happy the date went "great" that he asked if she was available this weekend. Honestly, she already had plans and declined.

When we got to the truth of the matter, the problem is that he is white. She just doesn't feel attraction towards him. They have a lot in common - he's an engineer, he travels, they're both geeky, etc. He's not ugly just average. And then Sh said something that I could totally agree with, that he'd have to be cuter for her to consider him.

I've often thought about dating outside of Asian. I consider myself an open-minded person, and yet, I find my preferences are very specific when it comes to men. That's why as much as I enjoy Tim's company, I can't date him. And then, when I have a lame experience with Asian men, I think that I should expand my search and consider other ethnicities.

What comes out of that thinking process is complicated. I always imagine it in terms of writing a description for an Internet dating site. My primary focus would be Asians, and I would put in a couple sentences explaining my strong preference but leave the door open to others (such as white guys) with a qualification that they must be better looking than average in addition to meeting all the other preferences listed in my profile. Does that seem unreasonable? I could imagine getting several pissed off men saying that I was being a bi#@h or something. What am I supposed to do? That's how I feel. I think it's good that I can honestly say what I am looking for. I question people list no preferences or "any" in their Internet dating profiles. I want someone who had a solid idea of who they believe will be compatible with them. I want to know he has an opinion.


teahouse said...

It's always so complicated for us Asian women, isn't it? I know many who refuse to date Asian men at all..they're interested only in white guys. I have never limited myself that way, and my parents have never insisted that I date only within my own race or culture.

Ironically, the current Boy and I are the same culture and ethnicity. But that was random! And before me, he'd only dated white girls.

papi chino said...

Before, I was never racecentric when it came to dating, I always had two criteria smart and cute, then I was forced to date outside of my Asian race because there were too few candidates and the ones that I liked had a "white-only" preference. So, I made a paradigm-shift and I think I am a more well rounded person because of it. I am currently attracted to Latinas (the Eva Longoria type) but I seem to attract White girls. I'm still open to all who fit the smart and cute criteria though.