Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Taking the non-chalant route

So it's Wednesday and I haven't heard a peep from KT. I'm really trying to convince myself to let this go. So my thinking (for today at least) is to experiment a little. Since I'm not intensely dating anyone, I'm going to try and use this as an opportunity to help break some bad mental habits. I'm thinking I need to calm down and just go along with the ride. I'm not going to play games or follow any "rules." I am to live my life and not change my schedule for him. I will try to approach this as getting to know a casual acquaintance. I don't question new girlfriends I meet (unless they do something totally inappropriate) so let's see if I can apply that to meeting men.

I want to get past some of this lame insecurity and analysis that I consistently put myself through when it comes to men. I see this as an experiment in how to train my mind. Yesterday, whenever I started to analyze or daydream about the situation, I forced myself to think of something else. It's very difficult at times because my mind just moves miles a second. But I think this is a good exercise because I need to get beyond this wasteful anxiety over guys.

Now of course, Mr. Flakey needs to cooperate. I sent him a short e-mail today saying that I had been out of town and asked if he had fun in the snow this weekend. Short and simple. It gives him a chance to ignore me or read that I'm still interested in spending time with him.

Got my friend to sign up with me for speed dating. Yipee! It's always better to have some security when going to these things. I hate being a wallflower. Plus, it's fun to compare notes afterward to make sure you didn't hit it off with some psycho. ;)

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