Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Still feeling suspicious

I should be taking care of stuff right now, but I had to write this because part of me is angry and part of me is very frustrated.

So as usual, KT and I are trading friendly e-mails with no indication of when he wants to meet up again. I wrote him a brief reply yesterday morning just commenting on my fun weekend, expressing concern for his illness on Friday, and writing about my disappointment over the basketball game. He replied late last night (I wish he would have just called):

"Hi P, How was snowboarding on Saturday? Sunday was a beautiful day down here in the Bay area. I managed to play some tennis with Larry on Saturday morning, then did my usual open house tour in the afternoon. The vertigo has all cleared up...it was really strange how it happened so spontaneously, then left. I guess that's the nature of the condition. Don't worry...I don't think it had anything to do with the rain or dinner on Thursday night. In any case, it was a nice day off of work. Apparently, we're still in our rainy season now. I've hiked some trails these past few months and the trails are still quite muddy. Hiking will probably be more doable as conditions become drier. I like the rain for now, but I'm on the lookout for better weather. KT"

Can you guess what maddening thoughts came barreling through my mind when I read this?!!!

- Why can't you suggest a time to get together?

- What the hell? You told me at dinner that you had to work Saturday. What's this about playing tennis and going house hunting? Were my ears totally on backwards that night?

- You've gone hiking... and haven't invited me even though that was your original line when you got my info. Okay, so you're putting off hiking until there's better weather, that's fine. But suggest something else for us to do!!!!! I feel like you're just putting me off completely. LAME.


This is why it's just easier to be single. Does he know what he's doing?

But... I was nice. No passive-aggressive tone (I hope). [But why can't I just ask him "What do you want from me?????] So I wrote a neutralish reply this morning. I described my snowboarding trip just as he inquired. Then I wrote:

"I thought you said you were working on Saturday. Sounds like you didn't have to go into the office after all? See any good houses? My friends lost out on a place they wanted in Mat. We guessed they would have had to bid a good 6%+ above asking to have a chance at it. I guess the market hasn't cooled that much."

--> Late note: Now that I've thought about it for a couple hours, I could have played this off in a lighter manner. Maybe somethine more like, "Played hooky from work again? ;)"

I wrapped up by mentioning that I took today off to clean the house before my mother visits on Friday night. I had wanted to invite him to see a movie with me and my friends this weekend, but I held back. I'm ANNOYED (gee, I haven't made that obvious have I?) and I just don't feel like making the effort if he's going to act like such a loser. Two years ago I would have long given up on someone like this. I'm kicking myself for right now for allowing him so much error margin.

Okay, so this is all good. Frustration is a great attitude to have as I go attack all the dirt and grime in my bathroom.

[It's just a guy... I'm really annoyed... but it's not worth the energy. Let it go... think about Gof... think about how much sh** you'll get from Mom if you don't get this place cleaned up.]

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