Monday, March 20, 2006

Missed opportunities

Okay, so taking the dinner date as a case study (because I'm all about analyzing things to death... and I'm such a clueless person when it comes to dating :p) here are some moments where I'm wondering if I could have, should have done something:

1) When I arrive at the restaurant, KT's hands were full - one holding his jacket, the other holding a menu. Otherwise, should I have tried to greet him with a hug or something?

2) Sitting down at the table, what's the rule on where the girl and guy sit relative to the view and the aisle? (Never thought this was an issue until now.)

3) To offer or not to offer to help pay? (I don't think I expect to get a majority vote on this one, just acknowledging the confusion. I'll offer to pay for something on the third date - if there is one.)

4) When he gave me his jacket shell for the walk to the car, was I supposed to offer that we share it going to the car? Does he think I was inconsiderate not offering? You know, we could have huddled together underneath it and shuffled to the car. It would have been a chance to rub shoulder or maybe give him a chance to put an arm around me. (Damn! Why am I so clueless!?!?!? This is why I keep saying I need a class on dating, so that I can identify these little "techniques" while I'm actually ON the date.)

5) When we arrived at his car, how do you end a date when you're both sitting IN a car? (Now reliving the first time when I was the one exiting the car... too many nerves... brain malfunctions.)

6) If there is a next time, should I greet him with a hug? How will I know if it's appropriate? What if he just stands there and doesn't reciprocate holding his arm out to hug me? Yeeck... .

Ah, the mass confusion that occurs because we're mixing American culture with years of non-physical, unspoken emotional expression we learned from our Asian parents. It's not that I don't like to be touched... believe me I like hugs. I just don't know how to read whether the other person will be accepting of it. And I certainly don't want to send the opposite signal which would be - I'm touching you because I am desperate to have you like me.

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