Friends and blogs

Ever since Saturday, I've been wondering if any of my local friends have found my blog. I suppose in some subconscious way I wanted them to know about it, but I don't want them to read it.

I've been very open and detailed in my writings, to the point where it would be very easy to identify people. Perhaps too easy. But I also feel like that's the freedom I should be allowed by writing an anonymous blog.

My friends seemed a little upset that I was unwilling to reveal to location of my blog. And perhaps it was a fun little way to hold some "power" over them. I honestly don't think they'd have much trouble finding it if they truly wanted to read it.

Now that paranoia has set in, I'm beginning to debate whether to edit some of the details in previous entries. I hate that I even have to be this concerned. This is exactly why I don't share this with people within a 100-mile radius of where I live. What will people think of me? How judging will they be? Will what they learn about me be that could be used against me in some way?

I have to trust that my friends will be loyal and honest with me. I have to trust they will not take offense at what I write and will understand that this is who I am and that I still love them as friends. Do they understand that no one is perfect? And, I would hope that if they have an issue with something I said, that they would come talk to me about it.

I asked Tim last night if he's tried to find my blog. His initial response was that I probably write "mean things" about him so he doesn't want to read it. I know he was kind of joking. In truth, I think he respects that I'm not comfortable with him reading it though I know that I'd be okay with it if he did.