Thursday, April 06, 2006

Confessing to the middleperson

I wrote Three a reply. Damn it was long... she's gonna think I'm crazy. I wrote part of it last night before going to bed because I knew it would eat up quite a bit of time. I think I was pretty honest about my feelings. I kept focusing on her last question - "Are you interested in him?"

I shared with her the various theories I've been given - shyness, dating multiple people, and not being that interested. I also agreed with her observation that he's a geek trying to fit in. (Aren't we all trying to feel like we fit in somewhere?)

I turned down her theory about work load. I also informed her about his current living status and my impression of how that influences his choices.

I really spelled it out for her (she'll be rolling her eyes when she sees it) by constructing a no nonsense timeline of our various get togethers to drive home the long pauses in between. In fact I think it's a good summary for anyone who can't quite remember:

- Jan 28: We met and exchanged e-mails (he initiated)
- Feb 6: He e-mails me about meeting for dinner (I give him my phone
- Feb 16: Met for dinner, but he brought his friend Larry and we split
the bill
- Feb 28: (Tues) E-mails me about having dinner on Thurs, I had
already made plans
- Mar 2: He joined me and my friend at Old Pro to watch an EB
basketball game. He indicates he'll see me "soon."
- Mar 14: (Tues) E-mails about having dinner on Thurs
- Mar 16: We have dinner. He's very sweet, pays for dinner, and lends
me his jacket so I won't get wet walking to the car. Just says
- We e-mail a bunch in the few days afterwards, but he never asks for
a date.
- Mar 28: Called me late evening to ask about dinner and a movie :)
- Apr 1: We go out for dinner and movie. We had a fun time. He was so
nervous/distracted that he forgot to pay the bill for dinner. At the
end of the night, I gave him a hug because it was clear he wasn't
going to try and touch me.
- Apr 2: sent me an e-mail around 9pm saying he had a fun time and
wishes me a good week

I explained my growing ambivalence and desire to be treated a little better. I think I provided a fair answer to her question:

"I know that I am attracted to him. I do like him so far and
would like to spend more time with him. ... I feel like I get
mixed messages from him. I probably have my own issues with being
afraid to get too close for fear of being hurt if it turns out he's
not that interested."

I think I tried also to be fair in saying:

"I don't want to make it sound like it's
all on him; there have been times when I probably left things vague
too. No one's perfect, and I certainly acknowledge I must need to
work on something myself to still be single."

It's all probably much more information than she was asking for. (Doesn't she realize I wouldn't be asking all this unless I *am* interested in dating KT?) I've laid my cards out on the table. My only fear is that somehow this would all get back to KT. I doubt it, I can't imagine Three or Kei doing anything like that, but then accidents happen. More than anyone else I can talk to, I would trust their opinion because they at least knew him a for a few years (or maybe their biased?). Yes, it was more than a decade ago, but it's the best I have to go on (unless I want to pry it out of my dentist ;)).

Think he'll call tonight? (If he just sends e-mail I'm going to want to ring his neck. Why do I put up with this if I'm getting so aggravated?) Okay... back to work.

1 comment:

teahouse said...

So did he call? Keep us posted!