Saturday, April 15, 2006

The unwanted radar

Why is it that you can always tell when people whom you're not interested in are going to try and get your phone number or e-mail?

I went out tonight to watch my friend, Suna, perform some bellydancing with her classmates at a local restaurant. At the end of the performance, a group formed to go to sing karaoke. If I wanted to go, I needed a ride because I had come with a group that was turning in early.

I hoped to get a ride with Suna, but then she implied that she'd probably want to hang out late. Fortunately, a dance friend of hers, JFBW, lived near me and could take me home. I don't think I've ever met him, but I was suspicious the minute he spoke to me. Maybe he's just got an eager personality.

We ended up at a tiki bar because the karaoke bar was packed. As we sat having drinks, he pulled out an old receipt and began writing on it. Alarm bells went off that he was trying to give me a message or something. He was putting together an e-mail list so that our group could reorganize to meet for karaoke next weekend. He also said it was so that his friend could invite us to her birthday party.

He first slid the sheet across to me. I looked at it and told him I couldn't go. He tried teasing me about it, and I explained that I wasn't going to be in town. Then he added the birthday party wasn't for two weeks. I came back saying that I'd still be out of town on vacation. Ha - no e-mail address for you. I just felt like he was trying to use this to get my info.

At just after midnight, he offered to drive me home. I hesitated, wondering if I could wait out getting a ride from Suna, but I went along with JFBW. He joked and bantered with me all the way home. Maybe I should have been quieter and uncooperative. We got into this discussion where he was asking me where I like to eat. It got me nervous because I felt like he was picking my brain about where to set up a dinner date.

As we pulled into my driveway, he started saying how we could go sometime to try this new restaurant his friend opened. When I stepped out of the car, he asked if I wanted to give him my e-mail address so that he could invite me out for a meal. I hesitated and then gave in. I fumbled in my purse for something to write on; I didn't want to give him my business card. He handed me the tattered receipt he had used to get other people's info at drinks. I wrote my e-mail address on the back.

Ughhhh, why did I do that? Now I have to find another creative and polite way to get out of this (if I hear from him). Maybe I should go just once. I can tell you right now that I'm not attracted to this guy. Remember how I mentioned that I'm not really attracted to white guys? And he's not really even cute. Sorry, the fancy sport car doesn't do much for me - and neither did his fast driving.

Why can't I get a nice guy to be this direct? Why is it always the ones we want who we can't get? How many "no's" does it take to get to give one "yes?"

1 comment:

mini said...

oh my gosh, i totally get this post. you can just FEEL it when guys are looking to ask for your # or something. and i always wonder too if i should have been more uncooperative in the conversation to discourage him before he even gets to the asking for my # part. and even when i'm not attracted to a guy, i always give in and then i cringe as i walk away b/c i know i'll have to come up with some creative and polite excuse ...