Sunday, April 02, 2006

What do you want????

Can someone PLEASE help me understand? I thought we had a good time on Saturday. I thought things went well. Did I say something stupid? Does he think I'm a gold-digger? Has he decided he's not interested? Is he just really busy?

At first, I was excited to see that he e-mailed me so promptly after the date. He wrote me a brief e-mail Sunday night:

"Hi Pandax,

How are you? I had a fun time last night. I think when I go back to Cafe, I will stress "not spicy." The movie was enjoyable...not your typical Spike Lee joint. I hope your Sunday went well, despite the rain. I went to a bunch of open-houses today. One has I'm thinking about making an offer. Anyway, hope you have a good week.


So here's comes my drama rant... . He never said anything about the food being too spicy at dinner? Where'd that come from? This is becoming "Groundhog Day" because there's nothing here about seeing me again. :( He had fun but... ? Did I scare him off by hugging him?

I can't help it. I just rewatched the episode of "Sex and the City" where Miranda learns "he's just not that into you." I realize it's not universal, there are exceptions. So where does this e-mail fall? I can think of several good excuses for him but I won't discuss them. It's enough detail to say that he took time to write versus just writing a simple, awkward e-mail. But then, I don't feel like he is wanting to see me.

I'm gonna try and sleep tonight without thinking about it. Perhaps it's nothing and I'm being crazy again, but the ambiguity is just too frustrating for me. I need to say something to him in the next day or two. It's just a question of what, when, and how.


Anna May Won't said...

pandax, from this objective 3rd party, the email seems pretty benign to me. i think it's nice that he sent one the next day and that he said he had fun. did you want him to say more, like "i hope we can hang out again" or something? just curious.

and are you taking it personally that he implied the food was too spicy, ie, like you've done something wrong?

sorry to step into therapist mode; just shooting my mouth off.

my brother is reading a book, "if the buddha dated," which he says is pretty good. the book says you shouldn't let anyone - especially someone you don't know that well - think something is wrong with you.

as for sex and the city, when i was married i found the show amusing. now that i'm single again, i find it depressing and try to avoid it.

Pandax said...

Thanks Doris. I think I just got caught off guard last night. I would like him to take more initiative about setting up a next date. It's hard not to want to be pursued a little more directly. I probably wouldn't be like this if I were busy dating other people at the same time (or were younger). I also tend to think that many American dating rules don't always apply to geeky Asian guys.

My plan is to go to the gym tonight to clear my mind, enjoy a little of the NCAA final, and send him a reply when I'm feeling a bit more rational. ;)