Sushi or Kabobs

I parked my car in the lot just behind the restaurant. It was five minutes until 7pm. I passed the minutes listening to the Da Vinci Code audio book.

I emerged from the car just before 7pm. This was an unfamiliar area of town for me. From the right corner of my eye, I observed an outdoor patio in an unexpected place. I had just assumed that the shop opposite my car was a liquor store. Yet the patio tables indicated otherwise.

Over a loudspeaker, a man called out numbers. Bending my head around the corner, the banner over the window touted rotisserie chicken and kabobs. The number of people gathered there convinced me that sometime in the future, I'd have to return here and try the food.

I stood in front of the restaurant door for about a minute. There was no sign of Limey inside. As I walked past a lantern at the door, I thought about how I need to practice writing my Chinese characters. Then I heard someone call out my name. Limey came from around the corner.

He is a decent looking guy. The one thing that always puts doubt in my mind is his voice. It's rather high-pitched, like a teenage kid who hasn't hit puberty (think Richard Simmons). It's just not sexy. :(

Conversation with Limey is easy. I have a tendency to jump subjects when I talk. He seemed to be able to keep up. A subtle smile hinted that he seemed pleasantly entertained at times with my eccentric habits - like being able to recognize See's Candies flavors. Our discussion about chocolate intrigued him as it opened a new view of gourmet chocolate making that he was unaware of.

The time passed well until maybe the last 15 minutes. I probably should have let the pauses alone. But I got a little nervous and would search for a new question to ask. The check sat for a minute or so before Limey pulled it towards his end of the table. He pulled out his wallet and tossed down a credit card.

The restaurant tables were filled to capacity by the time our plates were taken away. I guess a 7pm start for dinner was early considering how empty the place had looked when I arrived.

Outside, I thanked him for dinner. After a polite response, Limey paused to find the appropriate follow-up. He expressed interest in meeting up again and asked if I would be in town. (I had mentioned an upcoming business trip.) I said October was all at home, he nodded and said he call me.

Then, somehow it got awkward. Neither us seemed to know what to say. As he started to say goodnight, I couldn't tell if he wanted to come closer. My nervousness got the better of me, so I stepped forward with my arms extended. We gave each other a friendly hug.

He continued to walk towards the main parking lot when I pointed out that my car was on the other side of the building. He wished me a good evening and headed for his car. Part of me thought that it would have been nice if he had walked with me to my car. Another part of me was relieved that there wouldn't be another awkward moment.

Honestly, I haven't thought about the dinner since. It was fine, we had a decent time. So far, it feels nice to hang out, but I don't have any romantic notions about Limey. This feels more like friends thus far (but it had only been two dates). Given my track record for obsessing and over-analyzing the littlest things, perhaps it's better that this is slow-paced.

It would seem with people who I am neutral about, dates are easy. I'm just there. In contrast, when I go out with someone I'm attracted to, I'm totally nervous, bubbly, and probably a bit... ditsy? If I'm not sure about the guy, I probably act self-confident and aloof. Why is it so hard to just be myself?