Big Mouth still on the loose

Many years ago, my mother was chatting with me on the phone and told me about how this family friend's daughter, Curleye, was doing well with her current boyfriend. Her mother had told mine that she said she was happy.

A couple weeks later, I randomly came in contact with a woman who I discovered was a classmate of theirs from school. She was closer to the boyfriend. During the course of conversation, she asked me something about what Curleye thought of her friend. I innocently answered that she had said "she seems happy."

A week later, I got an upset call from my mother. My seemingly friendly comment had gotten back to Curleye and her mom. Apparently, they were rather upset about the gossiping. It had not even occurred to me that such a simple comment would cause so much scandal. I really don't see the harm in such a comment other than maybe it got mistranslated into something bigger.

******

Ever since, I've tried to be cautious of what I say. Generally, I guess I don't filter things that well. Information seems less sensitive to me than it apparently is.

Well, I kind of did that again over the weekend. I rode in a car with someone who is a semi-friend/semi-acquaintance of Chi (they've known each other for several years but aren't close). 3Degree is a very talkative person. What I did not realize is how he tends to ask very personal questions about people. As the conversation flowed, he got on the subject of Chi. I think he commented or joking asked whether Chi was dating many men. I rebutted his idea (because it seemed to sound bad to me at that moment) and explained that she is happily dating one guy right now.

He asked how long they had been dating and how they met. I admit, for a moment, I wondered if I should be sharing this information, but considering that they've been dating for two months, it didn't seem so secret. We talked a little about online dating sites. 3Degree then commented that he didn't think Hrmny had Asian people. I pointed out that Chi is dating an Asian man. That surprised him. From there, the conversation moved to other things. Sharing that last piece of information I will acknowledge was voluntary on my part.

Still, I felt a little uneasy about what I had divulged. I mentioned to Chi in an e-mail that 3Degree has asked about her and that I had told him she is dating. I wanted her not to be surprised if he mentioned it. I think she was a little upset about it but acted very polite. I did not get into all the details of the conversation because hopefully he won't remember everything I said. She was more understanding once she understood that the initial conversation was directed by 3Degree not some free offering of information by me. Her suggestion was that if I wasn't sure about answering his inquiries to simply say, "you know, you should ask Chi about that."

Suggestion taken. Man, I feel like a heel (beating my head against the wall). One more instance like this and I won't be surprised if she doesn't tell me anything anymore.

Every heard the book title "Kids Say the Darndest Things" by Charles Schultz. Well, sometimes I think that was based on me (though it was written before my time). There's some part of me that feels like I should be honest and open about things. I haven't quite learned the difference between honesty and appropriateness. I've managed to put my foot in my mouth big time every few years. Maybe I've been writing in journals too long and grown comfortable with saying what comes to mind. I need to remind myself that it's not necessarily dishonest to not answer a question.