Wednesday, October 04, 2006

How Can You Mend...

I keep hearing this song in my head (the Michael Buble version). At this moment, I'm sad, lonely, confused. I hate these emotional rollercoaster days (no, it's not hormones today). I'm thinking about what to do with Tim, about my one love-at-first-site guy, Unagi, that lack of excitement I feel about dating, why I'm so uninterested in work, how I have no single girlfriends to hang out with now.

Everyone says I'm such a nice person. My cousin loves the Xmas packages I sent her family every year. As part of their wedding gift, I'm going to stock my brother's empty refrigerator the night before they return home. (Because who wants to go grocery shopping after 6+ hours on the road, just having returned from a honeymoon the previous day.) If I'm such a thoughtful and caring person, why am I still single?

Good thing I have a therapy session this week...

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"How Can You Mend a Broken Heart" by the BeeGees

I can think of younger days when living for my life
Was everything a man could want to do.
I could never see tomorrow, but I was never told about the sorrow.

And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend a this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.

I can still feel the breeze that rustles through the trees
And misty memories of days gone by
We could never see tomorrow, no one said a word about the sorrow.

And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.

6 comments:

zerodoll said...

it can be hard to feel like everyone is attached but you. when my ex and i broke up, i ended up looking to my bookclub for more companionship, to craigslist to find other single women who wanted to hang out on my side of the bay. it's not easy, i am not that social a person, but it made me realize i was not the only single girl in her 30s. and i made some really good friends from it.

jayfish said...

to be honest, i don't think your "friendship" with tim is healthy. for either one of you. i'm sure you had many friends before him and you'll have many after. take care of yourself mentally and physically and things will just happen. i also think if you try to force something, it will most likely either a) fail, b) be so not worth it, c) some odd combination of the two. i say try to relax and let the river flow as it may.

Pandax said...

When I mention Tim, it is in terms of deciding whether to spend less time with him. It's my mental project for this weekend. It would be ridiculous to "avoid" him completely given our friends (and I don't want them to think anything's "wrong"), but I need to figure out what is appropriate.

My mention of this song does not refer to anyone specifically. There are just days when I feel like heart got beaten up too many times in the past to care anymore.

shan said...

i'll have to keep that one about stocking the refrigerator in mind. that's a really thoughtful and practical gift to give somebody.

Anonymous said...

I've actually thought about it, too --- how everyone says I'm great, I'm funny, I'm dynamic, I'm cute and I'm nice. So, why am I alone? Why do the boring ones manage to find people? Why do the mean, ugly ones manage to find people?

I'll tell you what drives me nuts, though --- my mother's belief that it's just "fate."

I don't know...

Pandax said...

"Fate" - that's a new one I haven't heard. Better than hearing mothers and aunts say that girls today are too independent, too picky, and don't cater to men enough. ;)