Social etiquette

It's almost 8pm. The cell phone rings.

"Hello, hello?"

"Hi P. [garbled]"

"I'm having dinner right now, so I can't talk too long."

"What? [garbled] Hello?"

As I walk outside, "I can't hear you TJ. Just wait a second"

"This is really bad connection."

"I'm outside now."

"Ah, yeah, that's much better."

"Yeah, I was inside a restaurant. How are you? What's up?"

"Oh, you're at dinner."

"I'm catching up with my brother and sister-in-law. They came back from their honeymoon this week."

"Ah, that's right. Nice. I was going to invite you over to hang out with us. Bubbles is cooking tonight, and I don't have any big pots. You know the deep ones for stews and things. I was hoping to borrow some of yours."

"Hmmmm. Getting ready for the party tomorrow?"

"Yes, ... . Where do you think I could buy some pots?"

*****

Gee, could I feel more used? We rarely talk to each other or see each other except in group situations. Now, you want to hang out (at the last minute) with me so you can borrow my cookware? Lame. If Bubbles knew she was going to be cooking, why wasn't this planned better. You two have been dating for more than a year and she spends every other weekend at your place. Doesn't she know what's in your kitchen by now? It's fine to want to borrow, it's fine to want to hang out... it's just awkward being "included" just for the sake of needing something.

Thank goodness I had an excuse, otherwise he would have tried to give me some good reasoning to come over. Of course, I've had no problem saying "no" to him in the past. Once, he overheard me mention that I'd be gone on a business trip for a couple days. He asked if he could borrow my car to make a run to Home Depot. In a split second, my mind processed the idea of his tailgating, hard acceleration driving style, the lack of care he has for his furniture combined with throwing all sort of dusty, sharp-edged hardware items into my two-year-old car. Without barely a pause, I said "no." I feared for my car.

When I mentioned the pots conversation to Tim, he said, "of course TJ would ask that. It's just like 'hey Tim, would you and your four-wheel drive car like to coming skiing with us?'" (And when I bought my car, one of the minor thoughts that crossed my mind is that I would always be asked to drive for TJ's ski trips if I got the AWD option.)

On another note, a friend had a birthday party for her one-year-old daughter. When it was time to open the gifts, she spread a blanket out on the lawn with all the gifts. She then called everyone over. All the toddlers rushed over from the air jumper. Several three and four-year olds, including her nephew, began to try and open her daughter's gifts. None of the parents did anything to stop their kids. (How about, "Bobby, that's not for you, please don't touch. Sit down here and wait for the birthday girl.") My friend had to finally had to voice a request to the parents to please watch their kids.

I noticed how at Disneyland now, the automated message during the ride not only reminds you to stay in your seat until the ride has stopped, it asks parents to please watch the children. Duh! Growing up, I never recall hearing that. What is it with the lack of discipline on young children these days? Are parents more lazy these days or is this some mistaken belief that they don't need to be as hard on their kids as their parents were on them?