My "Love at First Site"

Funny that he's come to my mind recently. I just realized that it was 10 years ago this week that I first met Unagi. If I ever believed in love at first site, he was the one for me. Sadly, our inexperience and immaturity doomed the relationship. He will always be the one man with whom I wish I could have had a second chance.

I had just come back from a month of training in Boston for my new job. Pisces invited me to her roommate's birthday party. She knew I needed to meet new people and thought this would be a good opportunity. She also wanted me to have a look at the people she had been gossiping about. ;)

Kata had a boyfriend in Boston who she just hadn't had the nerve to break up with yet. Meanwhile, she had been spending more and more time with another grad student guy, Ig. Pisces told me they were headed towards boyfriend/girlfriend status. The people at the party consisted of grad student friends and college friends from Boston who had also moved to California.

I met so many people in the first 30 minutes I could barely remember faces. You know how it is when you meet more than a couple new people and talk to them for 10-15 minutes.

But one guy stood out. As Pisces took me around the circuit, I felt like he had been waiting to meet me. I was trying to convince this mid-western transplant about the joys of BBQ eel when he injected himself into the conversation. He seemed a bit nervous but cute. She left me there to talk to the two guys.

Maybe an hour later, Pisces asked my opinion of the people I had met. Somewhere in the conversation she asked me what I thought of the pairing of Kata with Ig. Then, she wanted to know if I found anyone interesting or cute. I spied Ig and Unagi talking and walking away as the question mark of her sentence registered in my brain. At the time, I confused Unagi *for* Ig. (this is what happens when you meet too many people too fast.) The thought I kept to myself was, "too bad he's not available." I was smitten.

The party moved inside as the sunlight faded. I remember only that it became this bizarre tv trivia match between me and Unagi towards the end of the evening. Everyone else in the living room became spectators.

When people started heading out around 10pm, Unagi stood 10 feet from me and tried to casually suggest that a group go out for dancing. I didn't bite. I'm generally pretty clueless when it comes to signals, but I had some inkling that maybe it was a test. Some of the men then decided to join up for a poker game. A couple guys asked for my business card, but since I just started a new job, I didn't have any to offer.

Sunday afternoon, Pisces called to chat. She again asked if anyone at the party had caught my eye. I hesitated and gave her two names, E and Unagi. She was please to hear my answer and proceeded to tell me that Unagi had asked Ig for my e-mail. Needless to say I was flattered and very elated.

I couldn't concentrate at work. I kept thinking about how handsome he was. I daydreamed half the day away wondering what would happen. This was the first time I'd ever really felt like I'd been asked out by someone post-college. (Dating in college just feels different - no car, no money, etc.) Monday passed with no e-mail. Tuesday was quiet as well. Wednesday I began to grow frustrated and wondered if maybe he's changed his mind or the e-mail got lost.

On Thursday, my group went out for lunch. We had Chinese food. At the end of the meal, fortune cookies were left with the bill. Reading my fortune, I marveled at the serendipity of the message - "You are about to receive an important letter."

Of course, when I returned to my desk, I anxiously checked my e-mail thinking I'd see something from Unagi. My disappointment subsided as I delved into my work. After 3pm, an e-mail came through. It was from Unagi. I was SO excited. It was perfect. He made a self-depricating joke to remind me of who he was, mentioned my favoritism for BBQ eel, and asked if I'd like to go out for sushi.

Those are some of the best memories I have of dating. The thrill, the exhilaration, the anticipation. There was such a natural magnetic force between the two of us. Wow, what a rush!

He's married a few years ago and has a young daughter. I'm guessing another child has just come or will come soon. In the grand scheme of things, he probably married someone better suited for his life - she's the same ethnicity. He never felt like he conformed to his culture, but hearing about his wedding, I know it was a good match for the families.

I doubt he'll ever read this. I know we both felt strongly for each other at the time. If I could say something to him now, I'd want to tell him how much that time meant to me; that I think he's a good man. I can't find the words to describe how compeling my attraction to him was. He will always hold a very special in my heart.