Is speed dating dead?

I has originally planned a quiet weekend for myself. In the end, I spent much of it handing out with people and not getting my chores done - dinner, shopping, football, tv, photobook editing. If only I could get by on four hours of sleep for a few days.

On Friday, one of the directors planned for a hooky day from work to watch Fleet Week. At the last minute, however, an executive meeting was scheduled. I was left to drive a fledgling group out. The mood was not as upbeat without half the gang. The whole point of the outing was to spend time together. The organizers were not present which none of us liked.

We ditched the Fleet Week show in favor of a classic restaurant with an ocean view. Birdie is getting married in three weeks, so the conversation naturally tended towards her life. I stayed engaged though somewhat detached from the conversation. I didn't want to appear uninterested, but it's hard to participate in a conversation where you know you don't fit.

My only goal was to not draw any attention towards my own situation. I'm sick of talking about it with friends and acquaintances. (This blog is the only place I care to mention what's going on or complain, so you hear a very different slant from what all my friends think I'm about these days.) I prefer to let everyone think I'm doing fine and enjoy whatever else they want to talk about.

The one interesting thing I learned was that her former boyfriend is now a father. She found out after she broke up with him that he had been cheating on her with a college co-ed who is more than 10 years younger than him (yeck). She was this crazed girl who ripped up any pictures of Birdie that she found at his place. For some reason, the Co-ed began crank calling Birdie. She just call and listen on the line while Birdie said, "hello, hello... hello?"

The situation got so bad that she had to change her home and cell phone numbers. Birdie had no contact with Vainman, so it was perplexing to understand what obsession the Co-ed had with harassing her. My life sounds so tame in comparison - no boyfriend trying to get back together, no stalkers, no deranged other girlfriend (okay, perhaps some covert, harmless spying on my part).

Birdie must have picked up on my tame behavior and asked how my love life is. I panned the whole topic. She asked if I had been attending any more speed dating events. I told her that I had stopped going to those. I grew uncomfortable as she tried to remind me that I initially seemed to enjoy them. We discussed how they had been interesting at first but have since lost their allure. In fact, I looked into some sites recently and the frequency of events has dwindled. The last one I went to had incredibly poor attendance. Birdie agreed that they seem to have become passe. So is their a new option out there? Is it back to online dating and bar socials?

As we savored our desserts, the big group behind us departed. It was a table of seven men, half white, half asian, and one Indian or Middle Eastern guy. As soon as they were out of site, Birdie commented about the one guy who came to lunch in scrubs. Everyone at our table agreed it was rather tacky to dress like that in public. We guessed they were interns or residents from the nearby medical campus. All the other men were dressed in button down shirts or decent t-shirts. Birdie shared her opinion that there is an "in" about being a doctor because of the popularity of medical shows like Gray's Anatomy (a show which I enjoy). This guy was probably trying to make sure everyone knows he's a cool dude to date.

Yes, I will admit there's this culturally engrained radar for "successful" Asian men. Admittedly, it would be nice to date a doctor with the idea that he could support the family and allow me to stay home with the children. But I'm not going to date someone purely for that resume bullet point. I'm attracted (or I'd like to believe) to the fact that being a physician conveys intelligence, a kind and patient heart, and a caring nature. The financial security is a plus. I probably naively give them unwarranted credibility as "good guys" because of their occupations.

In reality, I know there are bad apples in the mix. There is unfortunately that segment of physicians who are total players because they know women want to date doctors. What made this particular guy personally unappealing for me was that he didn't wear a t-shirt under his scrubs. His ample chest hair showed over the v-neck of the top. Blech! Have some pity for the patients that have to be next to you.

We had lovely lunch. The view was rather overcast but seeing a sailboat or two pass by on the water was very relaxing. Nothing like enjoying a seafood lunch on the company bill.