Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Roach wimp

It got pretty hot over the weekend. After watching "Grey's Anatomy," I cleaned up the kitchen a bit, washing the dishes that have collected in the sink for a few days. Since I've gotten back from my vacation, the place has turned into a mess. My mail is strewn all over the floor, boxes of chocolate cover the coffee table (they'd melt at Tim's), and recyclables dot the kitchen counter.

I knew I had to get up early for my dentist appointment. I was climbing the stairs up to my bedroom. Just as I turned the corner to the last two steps, I noticed something black resting on the edge of the last step. It was an ugly, dark brown cockroach. Y U C K!!! I shrieked.

They exist throughout the development, but I've been lucky to only see maybe one or two a year inside. I just don't understand why it appeared upstairs, on my carpet! I didn't dare walk past it because I feared the movement would cause it to scurry towards my room or clothing that was on the floor.

I don't deal well with roaches (and Tim would say insects in general). I'll swat knats. I catch spiders and put them outside. The spiders took a bit of training for me as they scared me at first. I think there's a whole community of them in the air ducts. But roaches... no way, no how. They're just creepy, ugly things that completely gross me out.

All common sense went out the window at this point. I called Tim for some advice on what to do. In secret, I hoped to convince him to come over to help. I grabbed some glass bowls from the kitchen in hopes of trapping the thing. Unfortunately, because he was resting on the edge, I feared that he'd run out when I tried to catch him. Even if I did manage to get a bowl over it, what was I going to do with it?

For more than 30 minutes, I stood five feet from the roach. There were times I was crying in frustration and anguish. Tim was exhausted with my panic and whining. I just couldn't get myself to go near the thing. I was ridiculously afraid of the damn bug. Tim kept saying he was not coming over and that I needed to learn to take care of these things myself. I begged him several times.

Nothing was happening. I could not make progress on going near the roach. It just stupidly sat there on the step, it's antenna occasionally twitching. I was wishing I had a big bat to swat it with. Tim laughed saying it would make a mess if I squashed it and that I'd most likely miss anyhow. I continued to beg and Tim wouldn't budge. Finally, I agreed to pay him a couple hundred dollars to come over. Yes, I kid you not. My peace of mind was at stake here. He made a very unreasonable request on the money and I gave in. I knew that so long as that roach was roaming free, I'd never sleep.

Tim had the most annoyed look on his face as I opened my front door. My eyes were red from crying. I was very quiet and listed carefully to what he had to say. He brought over a clear plastic container. I watched as he prepared to catch the roach. Tim had to very quickly drag the container over the roach so that it was pressed vertically against the step. I think even he realized this was a little challenging. Had the roach been on a flat surface, I might have been able to do this myself, but not on a step. Gradually, he worked the lid under the container and enclosed the dreaded roach inside. You could hear it's hard shell bang against the container as it scurried around. Yu-eechk, creepy sound to me.

He handed it to me. I carried the container down the stairs with my arm extended as far as possible from my face. Its body was more than an inch and a half long. I tried looking at the underside of the roach but it just grossed me out.

Neither of us knew what to do with it. We decided to flush it down the toilet. This was a bad time to learn that my toilet is not flushing properly. I hastily knocked the roach into the toilet bowl and flushed. For a moment, I thought it was going to walk on water and climb up the sides. He wouldn't go down. At the last second, there was just enough water to pull him under. It was clear, however, the water pressure has him trapped in the pipes, but it wasn't gone. I flushed two more time to make sure he couldn't re-emerge into the bathroom and scare me in the morning.

Tim now holds a very valuable check from me. We'll see if he cashes it. I think he's trying to teach me a lesson and then return the check. Of course, I didn't sleep well that night. I couldn't help think about more of them coming out during the night, or even worse, appearing in my bed. I woke up with puffy eyes from all the crying I did over one stupid pest.

Ugh... I hate roaches. I'm such a big baby about them.

1 comment:

jayfish said...

some people have phobias about things like this. a coworker of mine will get up and run out of the room if even so much as a *picture* of a spider is close by.

that said, i think they've proven that phobias can be overcome. it's a long process but well worth it for some.

i'm not afraid of ants but if i see one, i can spend hours looking for more as i squish each and every one under my finger.