Sunday, May 07, 2006

Return to reality... slowly

Ah... vacation... .

There are so many things to appreciate about vacation:

- Not thinking about work
- Not hearing your cell phone ring
- Eating whatever you want
- Not thinking about what day it is
- No morning alarms
- No commercials
- Not thinking about dating

And then, there are all the lovely countryside views, museums, canals, dining, pastries, local festivals, historic sites, cheese, chocolate, postcards, sun, sea, baguettes, churches, seafood, walled cities, ocean views, driving through more countryside, a warm evening walking around Paris, local markets, shopping, chocolate, trains, clock towers, more churches, old buildings, and more chocolate.

I'm hoping to put together my pictures and Tim's soon. Then I'll post them in my other blog if you're curious to see some food. But I'm sure that'll be days from now... especially since my home computer seems to be on the fritz. :(

And then you get home and are happy to see other things:

- your own bed
- clean clothes (and a washer and dryer for the dirty ones)
- a car
- my cozy couch
- laying on a clean floor
- my favorite music

And then you have to deal with a few minor pains:
- smelley clothes
- a huge ass stack of unread mail
- a long list of unread e-mails (half of which are a chain of replies among friends which you don't know whether to go through one-by-one or skip to the most recent)
- checking your credit card which reveals you have an unauthorized charge for mp3 downloads (crap!)
- the dread of having to go back to work
- wondering what to do about my little termite problem
- remembering where you left things
- restocking the refrigerator with staples like milk and produce


I thought a little about the whole KT episode a few times during the trip. Getting some distance and letting some time pass on the matter helped ease my anxiety. I still have issues with feeling that he is trying to use me to meet people. It's very unsettling. I'm sure there are other people like that who I know, but at least they're less obvious about it.

Perhaps in another time and place, we could be friends. I question my own attitude of quitting all communications with him because there's no dating possibility. I feel I'm being hypocritical of my own belief of just making friends rather than be obsessed with dating. At the same time, however, I fear dealing with his potential attempts to invite himself to my friends' functions. I've debated limiting this to just being e-mail pals. That, I could handle.

I thought that with my last e-mail, I'd kept the possibility open though narrow. But since I was short in my last response, I figured I had no pressure and no obligation to respond to him again. And if he got my subtle message, he'd know that (at the time) I didn't feel like ever talking to him again.

So I was surprised this morning to see an e-mail from him. Either he didn't interpret my e-mail as a "goodbye" or he's testing to see if I am still his "friend."

--> "Didn't know if you were back from you France trip yet. was it?"

Eh, whatever. So what now? I've got plenty of things to do for the next several days... I'll get back to him when I feel like it. ;)


And then there's that other guy, Waby, who I haven't been very interested in. I think he and I both seem to have a very non-chalant attitude. He e-mailed me:

"I was trying to think of something we could do together if you're
interested. Since you don't dance salsa and I don't dance swing, I was
trying to think of something else. I dance west coast swing, but not
east coast swing.

The only thing I've got isn't until mid-May. I have an extra ticket
for [a show] on Friday, May 19. Would you be interested
in going?"

Upon further discussion, I learned it's a group of ten tickets and he's helping his friend "shop" an extra ticket. I wonder what kind of people will be there? I have to get back to him. I'm not sure whether to go. I have to admit I'd be more interested in going to a good movie opening with my friends.

1 comment:

Anna May Won't said...

welcome back! sounds like you had a great trip. also good to get some distance from the kt thing but mostly the trip itself seems just lovely. i love paris!