Friday, May 19, 2006

Missing the wedding gene

I dined with Hula and C3 last night. We haven't met up for dinner in some time so it was nice to catch up. I noticed I've been overly chatty the past few nights with my friends. Gosh, I hope they have forgotten how annoying I was. I hate when I sense I'm behaving inappropriately but can't seem to stop myself. I asked Tim about it, and he agreed I talked a lot on Wednesday night but downplayed it to make me feel better by saying that I was just excited. But I digress... .

I asked the two of them how they went about deciding upon their wedding ceremonies. As I have mentioned before, I will be officiating my brother's wedding in September. Twice, I've asked him if he or Ricer have any idea what they want. I'm waiting for them to give me some ideas.

Hula said she and Drummer basically looked up various ceremonies on the Internet and cut out the parts they liked. C3 agreed that that is the easiest and best way to go. Maybe when I'm bored one of these weekends, I'll go surfing.

I mentioned to them that I'm currently getting a free subscription to "Modern Bride" because I had some expiring air miles and picked out 8 magazines for free. (And I am now swimming in unread WSJ, Fortune, Self, Sunset, and Time magazines.) I knew it was a silly idea, but I figured with my brother's wedding coming I might get some ideas from the bridal magazine. I joked and they agreed that I need to hide them should any eligible man visit my place as they'd probably freak thinking I'm already planning a wedding for myself.

We talked about Pku and how wonderful her wedding invitations turned out. She designed them herself using a laser printer and Asian art images she pulled off the Internet. We all expressed how impressed we were. Neither her nor her fiancee seem like very artsy people. Pku told us at the invitation party how much fun she had designing them. C3 teased me that as friends have gotten married over the years, the weddings have grown more impressive. She joked that the bar is set high for mine.

The thing is, I've never been one of those girls that daydreams and fantasizes about that big day. I always think of Monica from "Friends" and how she collected a wish book full of clippings and notes about the kind of wedding she wanted. The whole concept seems so foreign to me. Frankly, the thought of it stresses me out and I will likely be too cheap about it.

In my twenties, I thought about having a wedding more so, I think, because that's what everyone expected. It's what you did when you got married. In the past couple of years, however, the idea of going to city hall or eloping at a national park lodge feels a lot more appealing. I've always leaned toward having a smaller, intimate setting. I don't mind having a big reception where I can party with my friends. I just don't feel like going through all the pomp and circumstance of the ceremony. (But, I know, it's not about me, it's all about having a nice "show" for the parents and relatives.)

Both Hula and C3 kind of agreed that they weren't really into the whole affair at first. I think as they dug into the planning they realized how much they wanted a memorable day. That's completely understandable. I am a romantic at heart. Man, you should see how easily I tear up over things, like Ray proposing to Yolanda the day after the finale of "Amazing Race." Maybe I'd feel differently about weddings if I had the right man in my life.


zerodoll said...

i am also one who's never dreamt about a giant wedding, the only part of it i've wanted is the pretty dress. i do see that it's a reunion of sorts for most people, giving an opportunity to bring together family and friends, but the whole commercial nature of it sickens me. seems like you say the word wedding and the prices double. most people say they hardly even get to enjoy their own wedding day, it's so busy.

teahouse said...

I am also not that into weddings. For me, the religious aspect will be the most important thing about my wedding day. As long as there's a priest there, and we're in a church, I don't care what my dress looks like or how much money I spend on the food!

The cool thing about living in the U.S. is that people here come from such diverse cultures. It's been fun being a guest at so many different kinds of weddings.