Thursday, March 01, 2007

If it's okay to say this

Cosmic forces continue to work towards something of which I am not privy. I talked with my mom to learn that people want to set me up with the older boy from that party at Uncle's last weekend.

It seems that Uncle talked with Emerald and Disorganized's father sometime after the gathering. The father expressed some concern over the fact that Emerald is 37, shy, and single. He wants his boy to meet some girls, get married, and start a family. He asked Uncle if there might be some girls Emerald could meet.

Uncle immediately thought of me and called my parents to verify whether or not I am single. Naturally, my mother is rather enthusiastic about the idea, especially since she learned they are doctors. At first, she asked me generally what I thought of the two. I told her they seemed fine. She asked how they appear, and I commented they seemed decent, nicely dressed and well-groomed. She restated her question to whether or not I thought either of them were good looking. I really didn't want to go into detail but offered that I think the younger one is slightly more attractive.

Then she inquired about their heights. I told her I wasn't sure because I never stood next to them and that we were sitting most of the time. She pressed about making an estimate. I argued that my estimate couldn't possibly be right since I was sitting more than 10 feet away when I saw them standing. Then, I teased a little and asked if she'd rather me remain single if I said they were 5' 3". She said "no, I'm just curious."

As she explored how open I was to the idea of getting set up with the boys, she clarified that the father felt more urgency around the older one. While I said I was fine with meeting up with him for coffee or lunch, I reminded her that he's had a chance to meet me. I pointed out that he may not necessarily be interested. I rambled off some potential reasons such as not being pretty enough for him or being too outgoing.

That's when my mom said something I'd been wondering but never heard before. She considered my theories about his possible disinterest and added, "Well, if I can say this to you, I think boys want to have a family and prefer to date young women. He may not want to date you because you're too old now."

Ah ha, I thought, the truth comes out. I didn't flinch. Nothing about what she said really surprised me. I've always figured that's why her friends have stopped offering to set me up. It's interesting to see how my mother thinks and know that somewhere inside she feels like my chances are dwindling.

She tried to soften the news saying, "I know you girls are getting married later and you wait to have kids, that's fine. But I still think boys like to marry younger girls. We'll talk to Uncle and see. Maybe Feminist can invite you and the boys for something."

I insisted that my mom not get Feminist involved. I don't know her, and I would feel bad if she was unwillingly dragged into this matchmaking scheme. I firmly told my mom to keep Feminist out of this if she was not a willing participant.

So, that was my conversation with Mom. My new attitude towards set up is that it's somewhat like online dating. You know less about them, but at least they're probably not stalkers or something. It can't hurt to chat once or twice. We'll see if anything comes of this.


zerodoll said...

setups might even be worse than the online matches since you're not necessarily the one choosing who you're set up with. that being said, i'd keep an open mind and see if he wants to chat or whatnot.

Anonymous Writer said...

I disagree. Setups are on the same level as online matches --- they're both crapshoots. At least with setups, you'd hope that you have someone on your side, vouching for you, looking out for your best interests.

I've had more setups through family than I care to remember. I agree with zerodoll in that I think you should keep an open mind and see what happens.