Monday, March 12, 2007

Little white lies

As I was searching for ArtHawk's profile, I came across another profile that is someone who I was previously communicating with through my "consultant." After one e-mail exchange, he wrote back telling me that he and a woman he had been dating for a couple of weeks had agreed to be exclusive. Okay, that's a great, honest answer. But then I find him on this other site, and his status says that he was active within the last 24 hours?

Did he tell me a little white lie? Things fell through that fast? Otherwise, why not come back and contact me (since he didn't complete the process and delete me from his connection list)? I'm not so much hurt at losing him, I was unsure about him. It just makes me think about how people choose different methods for turning others down.

Apparently some people choose to say they're pursuing other people rather than hurt you're feelings by saying "I'm not interested." It's probably another way to leave the door open in case they change their mind (or find out you've won the lottery and are now worth dating ;)). Does having options make people feel better about themselves even if they have no intention of pursuing the person?

I don't know, I'm all for straight talk and not these polite lies. Of course, there's no need to be unnecessarily cruel like, "you're unattractive and boring," but I see nothing wrong with simply saying, "we don't seem to have enough in common." Then again, there are those people who would take that as an invitation to ask "why." I've learned from experience that answering "why" can get you in a whole load of trouble.

As for the two dates I had last week, I've barely heard a peep from either of them. G sent me an e-mail thanking me for my company at dinner. I replied saying it was fun trying out a new restaurant with him. Nothing since then.

At the end of my dinner with Designer, he gave me a hug and said he'd give me a call. Well, a week has passed, and there's no sign of him. I even wrote a quick e-mail two days after the dinner saying that I enjoyed joining him for dinner. I then referenced an article I read in the paper related to his work and something he had mentioned over dinner. No reply. If you're interested in a girl, wouldn't you have called by now? Don't say you'll call if you don't mean it.

Sigh... back to the drawing table. Or is there something more I was or am supposed to do other than wait? (I don't want to look desperate or anything...)

1 comment:

Admin said...

Keep at it, Pandax. A week is still too soon to gauge if a guy is interested in you or not. I've come across dating advice that encourages guys to wait between 7 - 10 days before calling up a girl, for any reason.

I might also add that it would not hurt your odds of dating success to rev up your aggressiveness a few notches. I recently met a girl who has shown more initiative and "jump" than most girls do.

On our first date, plans were sort of changing on the fly but we eventually agreed to meet at a new restaurant. Without prompting, she made advance reservations for us, telling me she really wanted to make sure we got a table.

The following week, she beat me to the punch and called me first. She didn't ask me out, but it gave me the opportunity to do so.

My point is just these little things can help moves things along faster and as I guy, I don't expect it but I definitely appreciate it.