Sunday, December 31, 2006

Minds thinking alike

"why can't I get excited about finding a boyfriend?"

This search term led someone to my blog today. I found it to be a very appropriate expression of my own feelings as I've reconsidered dating again.

I don't think of this in any way as a new year's resolution. It's simply better to wait until after the holidays when people's motivations are more about meeting someone versus not being alone. I'm sure many people will be going online as they re-evaluate their personal lives.

Over the past year, I have put some effort into it. Certainly, the most memorable bit of drama was KT and his ambiguous, friendly attitude. It appears he's still online searching for the right girl (or more friends). Throughout my minor attempts to meet people, I made sure never to pressure myself. I think that kind of stress makes me much more uncomfortable and unwilling to put in the effort. Subconsciously, perhaps part of the attitude stems from not wanting to spend time on an endeavor that will fail. (I know, I know, that's not the right attitude.)

With that in mind, I have decided to try this once again. I found a promotion so that a three-month subscription is less than $100 (nothing wrong with trying to save a little money). I will keep this very low key, meaning I have no expectations. I want this experience to not be filled with dread. I promise to do my best to keep an open mind though I know that superficial and rash judgments may occur from time to time.

I'll let you guess which service I'm using but I'll simply refer to it as my consultant.

I've looked through some people and have come across two attributes that I'm uncomfortable with:

1) People who look overweight, I mean heavy not just cubby. Sorry, it's just not appealing to me. I'm a small person and don't like the idea of being crushed. I'm sure they're nice people, but I want someone who's healthy.

2) Guys who select "maybe" or "undecided" in regards to wanting children. Even though it means their open to the idea, I feel like I at least want to start with someone who envisions himself as a father. I don't believe in trying to convince someone to want a family nor do I have years to wait for him to realize he wants that.


Anyway, have a happy new year!!


Anonymous said...

i'm totally with you on the overweight thing. if you have a choice, why not go with someone attractive? ditto on the short thing for me.

and i agree with you on the "maybe/undecided" re: kids. i can understand that response for those in their early to mid-20s, but at this point either you do or you don't.

if i ever internet-date again, i'm going to be a lot pickier about wishy-washy people who may or may not want a long term relationship, or may or may not want kids.

i've realized for me it's a waste to invest energy in someone who's not in it for the long term, or at least the possibility of it. not that i'm hungry for a husband or kid, but putting all those feelings into a relationship that's going nowhere is just too hard on the heart.

not that that has anything to do with what you posted. :)

Pandax said...

I definitely feel like there are some websites where the guys are more interested in casual dating. I've tried to choose one that tends to be more relationship oriented and included a statement in my profile that firmly states my interest in meeting men ready for a committed relationship.

On the short thing... that's a real tough one for me. I'd definitely be nice to have someone at least six inches taller than me, but I worry that I would miss out on a really great person. At the same time, I think about subjecting my possible kids to the disadvantages of being short.

Breaks are good. Enjoy just being you for awhile Anna May.

zerodoll said...

6 inches taller?! i don't know how tall you are but that seems a bit stringent! (of course, if you're 5', that's really not that far out there!) but definitely, if you are not attracted to overweight people, no point in looking at them. i'd also be wary: some guys say "definitely" on kids b/c they know that's what a lot of women want to hear. a "maybe" seems to me to be open to it, just not so singleminded that if it didn't work out, he'd be ok with that too.

Pandax said...

Yes, I fall in the "petite" category which means that incredibly tall people (above 6'2"?) are also not as appealing.