Car stereotyping

I did some volunteering this weekend. At the after lunch, I chatted with this guy, Sour. He looked kind of familiar though I'd never met him. I figured out that I'd seen his picture on an online dating site earlier in the year.

I remember his picture because it was rather pathetic. Usually, you'd think people put up a good picture of themselves for dating. This guy's picture looks like he held out a camera in front of himself. He's not smiling and looks like he has bags under his eyes. The comparison that comes to mind is the look of a bloodhound. Needless to say, it's an unattractive first impression.

Sour looks a little more normal in person. I reminded myself that people can be different than what you see in words. I try to keep an open mind when meeting guys in these random settings. He seemed like a normal person when we interacted while grabbing food and drinks. Based on the questions he asked me, I couldn't help wonder if he was interested in me.

Later, as I was talking with a friend, he came up and asked, "are you the one who has the station wagon?"

How did he know that??? This question comes up from strangers once or twice a year. If I drove *anything* else, I bet I'd never hear a thing about my choice. I was suspicious, but calmly replied, "yes."

For some reason, he seem bewildered. After a pause, he followed with, "do you have kids?"

I non-chalantly answered, "no."

Still apparently in a state of confusion, he then inquired, "is there some fond family reason?"

Is it fair at this point that I felt a bit annoyed? I started by just responding with a "no," but then added that it's a great car for camping, skiing, and other hobbies.

Another guy who was listening to the conversation then joined in and asked, "you drive a wagon up to the snow?"

Almost in unison, they asked me if I have four-wheel drive.

"No, but I can fit everyone and their gear easily. It's great having the space. I've fit five people in my car plus our backpacks."

Still, they didn't seem satisfied. I gave up. Maybe Sour was interested in getting to know me until he heard about the wagon. Yeah, whatever. I think I scared a guy off last year when he walked me to my car and realized it was a wagon. Lame. I laugh that a guy is scared by my car. Sure, it'd be nice if I could use the car to transport my kids around town... someday. Right now, it's because I love being able to fit anything and everything in it.

There were moments I considered defending my car by adding that many SUVs are basically raised wagons but held myself back. Their incredulous attitude towards everything I said was frustrating. Had I been driving a Toyota Highlander, would anyone question me? I'm short, I don't want to have to climb up into my car. I don't always like what other people drive, say a Hummer, but it's not my place to say anything unless they directly ask me.

I'm not sure what to think of this. Everyone makes assumptions based on the information available to them. That's understandable. I just didn't like the way he presented it. It's a good reminder that I should also choose my words carefully.

I mentioned the incident to Wand afterwards. She was at the event with me and was present when Sour later eased dropped on our conversation about work. After I left, he asked her if we were friends. She was pretty sure that he was interested in me. Her impression of him was not very good either. They were in the same task group. When unloading supplies from her car, he passed by. The rest of the group, who happened to all be women, went over to offer a hand carrying the stuff. Sour continued to walk towards the meeting room. Wand implied that he clearly heard the gals ask if she needed help, but he didn't seem to pay attention. She was disappointed he didn't join in to help. Could it be he needs a little training from female friends?

As I drove home from the volunteer event, I thought about whether I should put something into my next online dating profile. Where they leave you a space asking "Is there anything you want to let people know," maybe I could write something in like "I like a man who thinks wagons are cool." ;)