Balancing thoughts and actions

At the end of "Gilmore Girls" Emily gave Lorelai some marriage advice. She cautioned that it's not all fun and that, in fact, sometimes it's not easy at all. Lorelai tried to use a snarky reply to lessen the serious tone. Noting Lorelai's need to always have her way, Emily said that sometimes it will be important to let Christopher have his way if the relationship is to survive.

Ironically, I had the newest issue of "Real Simple" in my lap when I was watching and was reading an article titled, "When being right is wrong." The article used one woman as an example of how the need to be right can distract a person's from finding happiness.

It makes me think about my own communication style. I wonder how many people have been turned off my unwitting attitude, especially people I have dated. Being single for so long, it's tough to remember the importance of listening and compromise.

There are moments when I catch myself, after the fact, being too strongly opinionated. I worry that I've been independent for so long, lived alone for so long that it's become hard for me to see other people's points of view. Day to day (outside of work), there's little need to compromise; there's no waiting for other people's input to take action. I have grown accustomed to making a decision without a word and moving forward. It seems decisions can take longer as a couple because one has to wait for the other. When I am in a situation where I am working with others, it's hard to realize that I need to shift gears.

I had lightly touched upon the subject when my brother and sister-in-law were over the other night. We were sharing stories about kitchen habits. I told Ricer how it's easy to develop unique cleaning habits as a single person. She understood when I described to her how I hate watching people wash my good knives because I'm afraid they'll unknowingly use the abrasive side of the sponge and scratch the blade.

As the conversation progressed, Ricer mentioned how she thinks I'm brave to live alone. She's never lived alone in her life. She said she'd be too scared to stay in a place by herself and won't know what to do. Part of me couldn't imagine what life would be like being so dependent and was thankful that I am self-sufficient. While I appreciated her praise, I also assured her that it has it's downsides. I confessed my own worries about how it becomes difficult to know how to cooperate with others. It's not in my nature to ask for help because I normally have to do things myself. Being independent backfires sometimes because the skills it forces me to learn can increase my isolation.

I showed Tim the article I read and asked if it sounded like me. He said, "no." It was reassuring to hear that though I must admit I can't help think his opinion is a little skewed. ;) I'll have to give this some more thought to determine whether I'm simply obsessing or whether this is something that watch out for.