Saturday, September 02, 2006

Having single friends

While catching up with my cousin the other night...

Cuz: So how have you been doing?

Me: [pause] Okay, honestly, it's been a little hard lately.

Cuz: Oh, why, something wrong?

Me: Nothing really, just been feeling lately like I have no... nothing to do.

Cuz: What do you mean? You have your job, your friends.

Me: Yeah, it's all fun, but at the end of the day, I just don't feel like I've accomplished anything. Life's just kind of there.

Cuz: It's because you live in the suburbs. When I was single [she's been dating someone for six months now], it was never that bad as long as I had single friends to hang with.

Me: Uh...

Cuz: I go out to dinner with blah and blah. It figures the minute I focused on myself with exercise class and volunteering I met Truckee. Yeah... it's was just fine being single with my single friends...

Me: ...and you hit it exactly on the head - SINGLE friends. This weekend, I realized that I have no more single friends... girl friends I mean.

Cuz: Sure you do... [pause]... what about Sh?

Me: Naw, she's gone.

Cuz: Gone?

Me: Yeah, she moved.

Cuz: But I just saw her a couple weeks ago.

Me: She moved to D.C. on Tuesday.

Cuz: [pause] Hmmm... I guess as long as I have single friends it's fine. I always figured once I had no single friends that I would have to start worrying about finding someone. Blah... blah... blah...

Sigh... my cousin didn't help much. I know it seems weird but I'm just not in the mood to tell my friends about these mini-dating adventures I have embarked on lately. I desperately need their advice and support, but I don't want to talk about it and get anyone's hopes up (including my own). Am I weird?


Work was a monster today. I had a mellow Thursday that was topped off by the deal of the day. I am buying a group birthday gift for Tim. I was missing one component that has been sold out at the local stores. Miraculously, it reappeared online, I got it the last one!!! Woohoo!!!

But then, karma decided to rebalance my world and gave me a report that made some people grumpy today. I still have a bit of redressing to do to make everybody more comfortable. I admit some of the feedback was reasonable and expected. The challenge is finding a fair compromise between what is justifiable and what is requested. There's just some days it sucks trying to give people the answers they want to hear.

Hguy hasn't written back. Not surprised, not disappointed. Like I said, any guy who starts a conversation by telling me I'm attractive and pretty makes me wary. I remember once getting an e-mail in response to my pictureless profile that started, "Hey beautiful! You sound great!" Uuuuuhhhh, just gives me the hebee jebees.

Maybe I'm too serious a person, but this just doesn't read well to me coming from a total stranger. To me, it's a red flag that there's some issue of insecurity, slickness, social ineptness, or some other quality that I don't need to deal with. If someone can teach me to believe otherwise, please comment.

Ah sleep... :)

1 comment:

Meowkaat said...

I think it's just men being men. I don't believe they put much thought into a comment like that- it's a knee-jerk thing, saying what they think is a "nice" thing to say to a woman. Remember, men are basically visual, so to them, a compliment about your looks is a kind, "normal" thing to say. Perhaps he isn't guilty of anything other than not thinking like a non-man. *shrug* just trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. It remains to be seen whether or not he deserves that benefit.