Tuesday, July 04, 2006

E-mail dating

I'm still communicating with Midwest via e-mail. Each time, he promptly responds to my mail the next night. The one thing I've been noticing, however, is that while he answers all the questions I ask him, he never asks me any questions (other than a couple early "what are you up to?"). At first it was fine, but now I'm starting to wonder.

Am I reading too much into it that not asking anything about me indicates he's not that interested? Usually when you meet someone new, shouldn't you be curious about them?

I don't know what to do next. He gives me nothing to say to him. Am I expected to randomly ramble whenever I reply? The end of his messages is always "will talk later," making it sound like he has more to say.

Sigh... what am I doing? Is this worth my time? Do I say something about the one-sidedness of the conversation? (In a more subtle, polite manner of course - not my passive aggressive, "hey dork, do you want to get to know me or what?") Should I give him my phone and allow him one last chance to demonstrate some interest?


Anna May Won't said...

guys like midwest personaly drove me crazy while i was internet dating. it's like hey, am i expected to carry the whole conversation here? esp if he was the one who reached out. it's give and take - he should be asking you questions too. you shouldn't have to be the one to come up with everything.

and i never liked when guys gave me their numbers and said, "yeah, all me." no! YOU call ME! again, esp if they were the ones who reached out to me first.

feminism scheminism - if the boy reaches out to you first, he should do some courting, ie, asking you thoughtful questions, asking if HE can call YOU, not throwing out his digits like a handful of crumbs and sitting his lazy ass back while he waits for you to come pecking at his feet like some gd pigeon.

i think it's a waste of your time to be wondering about this lazy guy.

okay, rant over.

Anna May Won't said...

in other words, you derserve more than that! :)

Sitcomgirl said...

Completely agree with all Doris said.
Also, I've always felt in order for email to continue you do have to pose at least one question to the other person, gives them something to say. If I get emails from anyone (friend, co-worker, potential date) that doesn't have a question in there, then they don't deserve a response. It's important to leave some sort of communication open, and if they don't I take it means they aren't looking for an email back. As I apply that rule too when not wanting to engage further. I say don't waste your time, and if he truly is interested, he'll reach out again.

Clinton said...

You're patient. The guy gives you his number and expects you to call (or not). And he's not asking you any questions and failing to keep the e-mails interesting. I wish all the women I met online were blessed with such patience. ;)

If you really need to confirm your doubts, just call him.

zerodoll said...

Ask him to meet or say forget it and stop emailing. I wouldn't want to call first either, and his lack of questions means he might be really boring in person and only interested in talking about himself. Or he may just be clueless on how he's coming across via email.

Pandax said...

Wow... thanks for all the feedback!

My thinking has also been that he's probably writing a dozen women he contact online, and he's just trying to keep up. But if that's the case... he needs to focus.

Yeah, I'm not up for doing this anymore... but I guess I'm tempted to say something. I'll probably just wait and see if he notices I haven't responded and writes again.

Ten years ago, I would have given up a couple e-mails ago. I guess with old age and a little desperation comes added patience.