Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Dear Abby for July 11, 2006

You've got to be kidding... . How could anyone be like this? I realize there is a subgroup of the population who is missing the parental gene. From the mother's perspective it sounds as though she was trapped in an unhappy situation and has just been pretending all these years?

Parts of the story are contradictory to me. If you don't care for the kids, why write to them or have them visit? (Maybe the explanations were lost in editing.)

It seems in this situation these two boys were lucky to grow up with any social skills. There are always multiple sides to a story, but this just seems so sad on so many levels.

I may not have a solution to my man issues, but at least I'm sure I want kids. What drives people to live lives they don't want?


DEAR ABBY: You advised the 16-year-old girl who said she had been "replaced" by her mother's dogs that you could guarantee that her mom loved her and her brother more than the dogs. Don't be so sure! When I first met my husband, one of the first things he told me was that the only family member that received any attention from his parents was their dog. I laughed, thinking it was funny, but it proved to be true.

This was an extremely dysfunctional family. Both parents ignored my husband and his brother and fawned over the dog. They took the dog for walks, special ice cream treats every week and rides in the car. They didn't even bother to attend my husband's college graduation. Over the years, we'd receive detailed letters about the dog's activities, but never once did they call to wish my husband "happy birthday." Both brothers needed years of psychotherapy.

After 33 years of marriage, my mother-in-law was finally widowed. After meeting the "love of her life," she confessed she had never loved her husband, never wanted kids and neither had he, and announced to her sons she would "no longer require them"!

Millions of people own dogs, and their children don't feel unloved and want to sit and cry. This young girl senses her mother doesn't care for her. We had a dog, and I KNEW my mom loved us more because she told us every night and spent time with us. This mom must not be doing that. -- WIFE IN SEATTLE

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