Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Murphy's law of anticipation

Do you ever find yourself ready to turn around on some rural road because you think you've missed the turn off? Do you later learn that if you had just gone another mile there would have been an obvious sign telling you that you had reached your destination? I can't count how many times I've felt like that in my life.

Monday morning I went through that with my e-mail. I was so disappointed over the weekend that KT had not asked me for a date. Why else give me his card and e-mail me? I was so frustrated. When I logged into my account this morning, I expected my new e-mails to either be photos from my weekend hike or updates on the upcoming ski trip. I wasn't paying attention at all when his name popped up. I had to look at the e-mail title and his name for a good second or two for it to register.

Happily, I opened the e-mail to see what I had been hoping for the first time he wrote. The e-mail was a light, friendly, and self-deprecating e-mail that ended with him asking about meeting up for coffee or dinner. He also provided his phone number. Ah, relief... .

It's been a fun conversation. I've learned about his living and househunting situation. Remember, I'm doing my best not to judge, but when I learned that he lives at home, a few things came to mind:

1) He's brave
2) He has a good relationship with his parents
3) He's the baby of the family and is spoiled

We've had fun harassing each other about Cal and Stanfurd. He immediately noted my "spelling impediment" and I remarked to their lovely 800 number. It's silly but it makes me smile. I should probably stop poking fun until we meet in person. It is a good, healthy way to start.

But today I find myself perplexed again. Admittedly, maybe daily e-mail are too much and we should wait for a date or talk on the phone. BUT, he hasn't actually initiated a time for the date. When he asked about dinner, I indicated that I would like to have dinner but not this week. I specifically even wrote, "next week?" It would be nice if he could suggest a day and I could respond. I guess he's waiting until Sunday or Monday to ask? Arghhhh. . . .

Nice guy, but he's needs to be a little bit more definitive in his pursuit. This would just be more evidence for my cousin's reasons why she doesn't date Asian men. They aren't assertive enough. So we'll just see what happens.

I hate playing games, but maybe the next time he write I'll wait a little longer before replying. Not only to make him realize the anxiety it causes but also to help me chill and be more patient about dating. After all, we might just be friends after the one date. I have to step back from hoping this will be it because I think that state of mind has doomed me in the past. It's time to focus on getting to know him to see if he's what I want not just about getting him to want to marry me.

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