Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Murphy again

I stupidly still hope this morning when I checked my e-mail. What is it with me? My e-mail has been rather quiet today in general. It's just one of those days when I needed a little human interaction. I sent out an e-mail about the upcoming Asian American Film Festival. I missed it last year, so I'm eager to attend at least one showing this year. I even offered to volunteer, though it's a bit late. We'll see if I get a call about helping. It'd be fun and I might meet some interesting people.

So just before noon, I refreshed my e-mail. A new e-mail appeared, but I was surprised to see the headline, "Dinner?" from KT. He babbled a little bit about basketball and the upcoming games before asking if I'd "be interested in dinner that day."

Just imagine me slamming my head into the desk because that's about how I felt. Next comes the hair pulling as I try to figure out whether or not to respond. Do I want his attention because I like him or because I want him to like me? It's all kind of a blur at this point. I'm so confused.

Honestly, when I saw the sports news on Sunday night I really thought about watching Thursday's game. I just haven't asked my friend because I know I'll see them tonight. Technically my Thursday is still open, but really my mind was on reserving that time to watch basketball. Had KT asked over the weekend, it would have been fine. Now I have to decide what's the right way to go. Why should I change my plans when he asks so late?

I don't want to play games, it's not in my nature. But apparently playing it straight doesn't get you anywhere either. I need time (and help) to figure out what to say.

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