Friday, January 05, 2007

Quibbles

These are probably little things, but here are some comments on profiles and the thoughts that pop into my head:

"I am looking for someone who is has a "good heart", physically attractive, spontaneous, and has a good sense of humour."
It's honest but saying he's looking for someone "physically attractive" just sounds a bit superficial, especially adding "physically." He's a decent looking guy buy I wouldn't call him a hunk or anything.

"One thing I can't live without: my cell phone"
Ugh, I saw this on several profiles. My friend said it's just a guy thing. A couple people I know who are heavily attached to their cell phones just drive me nuts. It's not a big negative, but certainly it means I'm going to be watching to see if the guy knows the proper phone etiquette (i.e. ignore it or answer and quickly tell them to call back later) if I ever meet him for coffee or dinner and it happens to ring.

"One of his best life skills: Keeping physically fit"
Hula friend *hated* this comment. Out of all the positive traits one could say about themselves (e.g. being organized, cooking for friends, saving money, etc.) she thought this was pretty low on the totem pole. Yeah, it's not the most interesting comment in my book, but I didn't see it as negatively as her.

The guy is handsome, very athletic, 6'1", and a fireman.
Yes, that's very appealing. He'd probably look good in a calendar spread or something. Hula and I agreed that while he's attractive for many reasons, it's almost too good. It's hard for me to explain, but our feeling was that he's going to get dozens of e-mails. Neither of us were enthusiastic about contacting him. Is it because we don't like the amount of competition or the impression that because of his profile that he'd be somewhat of a player?

The guy doesn't like people who are always critical of others.
Hula was a bit worried here because he may become unhappy with me. I'm very hard on myself and he may dislike my nitpicking. I get it from my mom. I'm not as bad as her, but certainly I do it a lot without realizing. People's perception of criticism is relative. Sometimes I think I'm just trying to help but it's not taken that way.

None of these thoughts translate into deal breakers. My therapist would remind me that I'm jumping to conclusions about these guys without even getting to know them. Rather than assume bad things based on a statement, she wants me to ask these guys about my concerns in a non-negative way. But realistically, I'm trying to filter through some 20+ potential matches, I have to make cuts somewhere. And, of course, there are multiple attributes to weigh for each guy. They're all on my list for now. I don't really have time to focus right now so they'll have to wait for the weekend.

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On an unrelated note, I was looking through another dating site and happened upon KT's profile. One of the thumbnail pictures of him reminded me of the jacket he wore when I ran into him over the summer. So I clicked on it. Sure enough, it was a picture of him from that very weekend. Imagine my surprise when I looked at the three people in the background, behind his right shoulder, to see that it was me, Chi, and Hula!

If you want a picture of yourself with the water and land in the background doesn't it make more sense to get *behind* other people so that you have a clear shot? The suspicious part of me is wondering if he was trying to sneak a picture of us. People shouldn't be allowed to post pictures that include other people in their profiles without asking permission. We laughed about it. Hula's going to tell Drummer (her husband) that she has her picture posted on a dating site. ;)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

what? KT's not afraid of you running into that profile picture?

reading this made me curious about the profiles on dating sites again, so I went and checked some out. I feel the same way when I see a guy who's handsome, tall, and into the outdoors. Or when I see a profile that's witty and cute. Not that I'm not attracted to that profile, but it makes me wary because I feel like he would be such a player.

Or maybe we're just all jumping to conclusions.

Anonymous said...

that's hilarious you're in the background of KT's picture! classic.

definitely agree on the cell phone comment. i find that kind of person, male or female, so obnoxious, and i think answering your phone while you're hanging out with someone is so rude. i hate it even when my girlfriends do it.

zerodoll said...

yeah, cell phones should be OFF on first dates.
and keeping physically fit doesn't really seem like a life skill. it might have been ok if he said taking care of himself or something along those lines, but going to the gym is not that huge of a skill.