Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Sushi, Shrek, and a talk

There's no way I could have guessed what Tuesday's date would turn out like. Typically you'd think you'll have some good food and conversation and that maybe you'll hug or kiss at the end of the night. It was a very good date, it just wasn't something I was prepared for.

Tim called around 6:30pm to check that I was home. He asked if I still wanted to go. I thought it was a strange question to ask, so I replied, "would you like me to say 'no'?" He responded by saying he just wanted to check in case I had met some suave guy recently. He came and picked me up at 6:45pm. He wore an orangish, outdoors, button down shirt paired with a faded pair of jeans.

I felt assured this was a date the minute he came to the passenger side of the car and held the door as I got in. It was a strange feeling for me because it seems like a long time since I've been treated so nicely.

His car seemed unusually clean. Except for a yellow bag he removed from me feet, there was barely a scrap to be found. I should have asked if this was normal. ;) We only had about 45 minutes to eat if we were to make the 8pm showing. Unfortunately, Tim couldn't remember where the sushi restaurant he had in mind was located. He had just given up when he spotted it.

It was awkward at dinner since we were facing the bar rather than each other. The conversation didn't flow as smoothly and I felt like we were struggling a little. The service was a bit slow too. We clearly were not going to make it so we slowed the pace and counted on seeing the 9pm showing.

Tuesdays are nice and quiet for movie watching. We had virtually no line. Tim bought our tickets and we sat at a table for 15 minutes to talk before going inside the theatre. We sat in the row where the armrest flip up. I wondered if he try to make any moves during the movie. A couple times, I leaned over to make comments during the movie or we'd look at each other during a funny scene, but nothing else happened.

It must have been 11pm by the time we got back to my place. I didn't wear a watch which was rather dangerous. We sat on the couch and chatted until around 11:30pm. He commented it was past my bedtime, but then asked if I had ten more minutes.

That ten minutes turned into more than I would have ever expected for a first date. He basically tried to premise it as a round of speed dating. He wanted to know what I was looking for in dating. I quickly corrected his understanding of what happens on a speed date. Getting that serious in a five-minute date does not happen; I didn't add that it tends to freak people out.

You can quickly guess that this conversation took longer than 10 minutes. We sat there until 1am. What did we talk about? Well here's my best recall:

- the general list, i.e. kind, smart, responsible, thoughtful, ambitious but not a workaholic, someone who wants to get married and have children, who knows what he wants, etc.

- how long it's been since my last break up

- he was concerned about whether I would be accepting of someone who makes less than I do and who doesn't dress as nicely

- I told him that no one's perfect and there are definitely things I work on for myself such as complaining, sense of humor

- On religion, I told him I have no problem marrying someone religious as long as he doesn't expect me to convert. I will also raise the children to a different religion but not to expect me to actively participate all the time. Although he was raised Catholic, he is content with his values and morals. He doesn't feel a need to be part of the church (even if he was taught that he will go to hell).

- he asked if I vote. Paying more attention to politics is something he started to do only recently. I have to admit I only know issues on the surface. It's something I'd like to know more about but it's not a priority.

- I emphasized that since money and kids are the two biggest things that couples argue about that it's important to find someone with similar values and ideas about how to raise children

- what kind of relationships we've had in the past and who we still talk to

- we agree somewhat about wanting someone who has their own interests, shares some in common, and someone willing to try each other's hobbies

- he is looking for someone who has a good relationship with her parents (yeah, still working on that one)

- he said that he wants someone who is happy with themselves (just imagine the doubt I had inside when he said that) and works well with kids. He was surprised when I said I really don't have any friends with kids.

- he thinks from what he's seen of me that I have a lot of what he wants. I think we're both wondering how accurate one's personality during vacation is an accurate reflection of what people are like in normal life

So finally at 1am, he let me go. There was a funny pause and we sat, with legs crossed, facing each other on the couch. I'm not sure if he was struggling with whether to touch me. There were several times he would touch my knee or foot during the conversation. He was very gentlemanly. After he slipped on his shoes, I thought he put out his hand, and I began to give him my hand. He gave me a look like "we can do better than this" and reach out his arms to hug me. It was a little longer than a normal hug. He stepped out the door and we said "goodnight."

Needless to say, I was EXHAUSTED all the next day after only getting 3-4 hours of sleep.

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