Friday, June 11, 2004

Contact paper

Tim called me up when he got home last night. He offered to come over and help me with the new house. It's clear he wants to spend time with me.

He brought me some cherries (which I left on the counter last night). I gave him a tour of the place. He had to entertain himself a little while I talked to Dad about the loan and the house. He immediately offered to help me move boxes.

Next we sat in the kitchen and put down contact paper on the shelves. We teased each other and talked about various things. His apartment sounds a bit messy as he joked that I won't be seeing it anytime soon. I gave him a hard time about it.

We talked little about tv. He used to like watching "Buffy." I asked if he watched shows because of the cute girls. He said not always. Then he asked the same about me. I told him the only show I ever watched for that reason was "Lois and Clark." I said that I'm more attracted to dark-haired men. Then I commented that it was very different in high school because all the guys I had crushes on were blondes. Under his breath he mumbled that he could die his hair. When I asked, "what did you say," he said replied, "nothing." There was another time when he said something under his breath, but I honestly don't know what it was. It does seem fairly clear that he likes me, maybe more than I am aware. It's hard to separate liking him for who he is versus liking him because of how he feels about me.

When it was time to go, we hugged and he kissed me on the side of my forehead. As he headed out of the garage, we were talking about Joy. So I had to ask him if she knows we had a date. He said, "yes," and then asked if he shouldn't have told her. I assured him it's fine, but I was just curious what she thought. He revealed that they had actually spent a bit of time talking about me that night they went out to salsa dance. It sounds like she knows him well and was the one who put the question to him. I can't help wonder what she noticed that made it clear to her that he was interested in me.

I truly enjoy spending time with him. I don't know what that means for us in terms of a relationship. I do my best to be myself and not worry about things. Because of how he seems to feel about me, I feel like I need to make up my mind quickly. I don't want to string anyone along nor would I want anyone to do that to me. I want to make sure I get to know him. I find, however, that I'm not sure how to determine if he's what I'm looking for.

His concerns are valid one. The job, the money, those could be things that bother me in the future. But how much weight do I put on things that you can't predict or guarantee will happen?

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