Thursday, June 17, 2004


Tan and I plan to meet at Cascal's for tapas tonight. I hope to stick to ending dinner at 10pm so that I can get ready for my weekend camping trip. Originally he offered to pick me up. I wrote back saying I need to run errands and would simply meet him there. As friendly as he seems, it's too early for him to know where I live.

I arrived minutes after 7:30pm. Apparently he arrived 30 minutes early so he walked the street and ended up buying a few things. He was waiting in the bar area and had just received his ice tea when I walked in. He's not bad looking but his height challenge became obvious when he got up to welcome me. I was wearing two inch shoes. I felt like we were the same height. My best guess is that he's 5'4". It's weird to me.

He's very friendly and sociable. From the minute we met I've always felt like we were comfortable chatting. He remembers a lot of what we've discussed over the phone in the past. He asked about what kinds of activities I have. He mentioned his houseboat trip and his plans to go to Hawaii in October for unlimited golf.

While waiting to order we talked about small world coincidences. He has a friend named, Chi?, who went to Berkeley. It sounds like he's talked about his dating with her. They were trying to figure out if maybe she and I knew each other at all. He couldn't remember the name of my company and she told him to ask me if I ever worked at the Lawrence Hall of Science. No connection there. Then I told him one of my small world examples about how Jy and Ap knew each other and Ap is my old roommate.

Ordering was kind of bizarre. He left it pretty much up to me to choose all the tapas. His only request was not to have too many things with cheese. (What a shame.) I suggested about four dishes when I started to look for his input. He said something like, "it's all up to you, dear." Um, okay, that's a very odd way to speak to me. We don't know each other and I found that wrong. Plus several times in the conversation, he stated my name as he conversed. It wasn't necessary to repeat my name, I know who I am. I don't understand why it was necessary. It doesn't feel very personal when people act so formal. I'm trying to think of why I would ever state someone's name back to them in conversation and the only thing I can think of is that I'm trying to get their attention or emphasize something very important. There was nothing that important about our conversation.

He seemed to think we had a lot in common. We talked a little about kids because he seems to have many friends with young children. He tends to have modern furniture tastes and dislikes the planned community areas like Walnut Creek and Orange County. It was difficult to get a sense of his personality. He likes his work because it offers a lot of autonomy but he's not surprisingly getting tired of all the travel.

He has an older sister with a 7-month old girl. We talked a little about my brother. I wish he were moving up here so I could hang with him more often. I remember making a comment about whether he will eventually marry his girlfriend. I made a reference to Tan asking about his experience with college sweethearts but didn't get any reaction from him. He refrained all night about any references to past dates or girlfriends.

I couldn't help look at my watch towards the end of dinner. It was a little before 9:30pm when we ordered a dessert. It was a very disappointing and deceiving souffle. It was not a souffle at all - not light and fluffy nor hot. I took about two bites and let him finish the rest. While I enjoyed the night, I was ready to go home and pack for camping.

On the way out he asked about doing something when he gets back into town. I indicated that I would be interested. He suggested maybe going hiking since that will be a three-day weekend with plenty of opportunities to do things. We gave each other a side hug goodbye and walked opposite ways to our cars.

Conversation wise, I enjoyed hanging out with Tan. The height thing is still a big irritation for me. It seems so silly because other guys I've dated have been only a couple inches taller. I bet it's been a big disadvantage for Tan. The other thing that is a little questionable is the "dear" and saying my name during the conversation. It's not normal. It's so strange, I don't like the idea of dating a guy who's an introvert, yet when I meet these outgoing and forward guys, they turn me off.

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