Thursday, February 15, 2007

If you want something easier, practice on the nerds

I swear that's what I heard her say. I was getting ready to go to sleep and had ABC running on the television. The news reporter was sitting in a NYC bar with a matchmaker. She was giving advice on how to approach men. The matchmaker is this very aggressive woman who'd been married for almost 25 years. She finds marriage material for high-powered executives, generally men, who don't have time to find a wife. Her starting price is $25,000. Holy crap!

The first comment that caught my attention was something she said as she hit on women at upscale department stores. She had just given a shopper her business card. The shopper asked what the matchmaker does for her clients. She explained that she is paid to help busy men find wives. She proceeded to say, "they can find their own dates and one-night stands, I help them find women who are ready for a committed relationship."

My mind couldn't help wander to the thought of whether I'd want to meet a man who is SOOOO busy that he had to pay someone to find him a wife. What does that say about the kind of life I'd have with such a man? Can I squeeze in a little nookie between his 6am and 7am conference calls? :p Something about it just felt wrong (besides the fact that she said her clients typically want women who are young, beautiful and stylish - sounds like trophy wife to me). I want to know that he's putting some effort, not just money, into his search.

Later, the matchmaker went on to say that any woman who wants to get married needs to get serious about it - i.e. "stop working all the time." Her opinion is that if you're working too much, you're not focusing on your goal. The reporter then pointed out that she wasn't telling this to her MALE clients. The matchmaker even went as far to offer the example of a woman who took a year off from her Wall St. job to find a husband (and who recently got engaged as a result).

During the conversation, the reporter asked the matchmaker to provide an example of how to approach men. When the reporter was hesitant to practice on the men at the bar, the matchmaker suggested to at least practice with nerdier men because they are easy to complement. She reminded the reporter that's it's about volume and practice.

Watching these types of people make me feel like I'm a clueless teenager. How much of the population is like this? I'm probably around the age of some of her clients, and yet it feels like I'm observing people in a foreign land. My world runs at such a different pace and level of existence. :)

It was a crazy news clip but entertaining. She's got some very strong opinions and won't definitely not be the right matchmaker for everyone. Still, whether you're a man or a woman, she knows how to talk to people. She's definitely got a New York personality. Some of what she said was interesting, but I'm probably a little too shy and uncreative enough to come up with a good pick-up line and approach a total stranger.

Here are some tips from matchmaker J. Spindel for women in the market for a mate:

1. Smile. Smile as much as possible. It makes you approachable.

2. When you're out with your female friends, separate yourself from the pack. Men are too intimidated to approach a group of women but might approach you individually.

3. Always have a manicure. It says you treat yourself well.

4. Don't wear too much makeup or terribly revealing clothes. Be feminine, not X-rated.

5. Wear a pin or distinctive necklace or earrings. Memorable jewelry can be a conversation starter.

6. Talk to at least three strangers of the opposite sex each day. Finding love is a numbers game, so you have to get out there and get used to approaching men. Compliment something a man is wearing or make a joke about what he's drinking. If you start the conversation, the man will take it from there.

7. Never discuss politics or personal problems on a first encounter. Instead, discuss safe topics such as the weather, travel or entertainment.

8. Project confidence. No one wants to go out with a person who is negative and full of complaints.

9. Make a list of what you're looking for in a spouse. Don't date anyone who doesn't meet those standards. It's a waste of your time.

10. If you're not meeting mates and you want to — change your attitude! Anyone can get married at any age. Just be optimistic and make an effort to meet as many people as you can.


jayfish said...

seems like perfectly reasonable tips...

zerodoll said...

i like the 10 suggestions, but i kind of don't like that "practice on the nerdy ones." that seems mean if you're not really interested.

Pandax said...

#3 - Do guys really notice that? I keep my nails very clean but don't get the manicure because it never lasts long enough with what I put my nails through.

#5 - It's a good one. I wore this cute corduroy hat to dancing once. Several guys would remark, "you're the girl with the hat."

zerodoll said...

manicures are absolutely pointless for me. clean, well maintained should be enough, especially since don't you own your place? i would imagine it would be hard doing things around the house to keep a manicure looking nice.

teahouse said...

Yeah, that lady's tips are all pretty intuitive. She is the one laughing all the way to the bank...