Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Change of direction

I was going to write tonight and tell you all about my fabulous trip with Tim. We had a great adventure, probably one to the best trips I've ever had.

But, I have to stop tonight to think about something else that's on my mind. When I came to work this morning, I learned that my co-worker, Hen, will be out the rest of the week because her father-in-law passed away on Friday. He had gone in for surgery and died in recovery. Only one daughter made it to the hospital before he was pronounced dead. He had a miracle recover from cancer just before Xmas. It would seem his body exerted so much will to live during the cancer that it didn't have enough strength to recover losing a lung.

On top of that, I just learned minutes ago, that a dear friend's father has passed. She's been out in Boston for weeks watching over him at the hospital. She's been sleeping at the hospital and showering at a friend's house for more than two weeks. They thought the worst was over just as we left for vacation. Now, I feel absolutely devastated. Two deaths in one week is... horrible.

Knowing two men with loving families had to die so soon is heart breaking. They were each part of close families. The core of the family is now gone. What happens to the wife? What do you do when you're left alone after 30, 40 years of marriage? Plus, my friend's mom lost her sister not more than one month ago. Damn.

It makes me realize how fragile life is and how much I love my parents. It easy to take for granted that they will be there. Since they live out of town, I don't see them often and the changes to their bodies is all the more apparent every time I visit. We are not invincible at any age, just maybe a little more durable when we're younger.

I'm heartbroken for my friend because she is still single. I'd like to believe that most of us dream of walking down the aisle arm in arm with our fathers. I had always dreamed of having my grandmother present for my wedding and seeing her so happy. That hope was taken away from me several years ago. I could never imagine not having a parent there on that special day (and hope that I don't have to experience that).

Hen's father-in-law had organized every detail of his death during his one year plus of cancer. They have a script, they need not think just morn. In my friend's case, it's that much more difficult because this was unexpected. He was a healthy man when he came down with this sudden illness. Now, they must scramble to make funeral decision in what must be an altered state of mind. My heart goes out to her. I wish there was something more I could do than send a card.


mini said...

i'm so sorry to hear that pandax :( a co-worker's grandfather recently passed away, and i felt an urging sense to say/do something appropriate, yet i was at a complete loss for words and probably just made the situation more awkward ...

i find it really hard to offer genuine condolences in a way that actually sounds sincere (if that makes any sense at all). best of luck being there for your friend and coworker

(and i'm glad you had a great vacation with tim :)

teahouse said...

How sad for your friend and coworker. I often think about that and it makes me more patient with my relatives when they're being all irritating and bugging me to get married sooner. It's because they realize their mortality, and they want to be around for it. I can't really blame them for feeling that way...