Monday, December 10, 2007

Matching the past

I heard a great story over the weekend about how online dating can be successful. It's not your typical girl meets boy story. I heard this story from a friend and just had to share the entertainment.

An acquaintance of mine, Lynx, has been single for a number of years. She an attractive Asian women - pretty, petite, slender. She's a bit of a home body so she doesn't necessarily get out and meet new people often. After three years of being single, Hula has been trying to convince her to try online dating.

Recently, she gave it some thought. They had created a profile for her some months ago but never activated it. Hula convinced Lynx to let her write up a little summary to her profile. She did her best to imitate how Lynx might write about herself. Apparently, it was a good pretty good imitation because Lynx was satisfied and posted her profile.

Weeks went by and she received several e-mails from guys Hula considered to be good candidates. A few deal-breakers in Lynx's profile made her list limited. Since Lynx had been off the dating market for a few years, she was naturally a bit hesitant to initiate any conversation or reply to any of the bachelors who sought her out.

Persistent nugding by Hula paid off and Lynx exchanged e-mails with a handful of guys. Eventually, she went on dates with a couple guys. When Hula would ask about the dates, Lynx's attitude was that of indifference. She said she needed to date a guy 5 times to know whether or not she wanted something more. (This comment in and of itself could spark plenty of debate over how many dates is enough. Frankly, I think two to three seems fair.)

The next couple weeks could best be described as "when it rains, it pours." Not only was she going on a few dates and e-mailing new candidates online, her old high school boyfriend called. She was relieve to learn that he was just calling to chat. He's still happily married and for some reason just called (after years) to catch up. It was a pleasant chat.

Later that week, her old boyfriend, SJ, called. That hadn't spoken to each other since she broke it off three years ago. At the time, she was not happy with his lifestyle. They are both somewhat reclusive people. They fit well in that sense. What bothered her was that he tended to compartmentalize his life. He has his work, his friends, and Lynx. The issues was that he never mixed any of them. For the two or three years they dated, she never once met his co-workers or friends. She was uncomfortable with the fact that she was not included in more of his life. He lacked maturity.

SJ was calling to say that he was still thinking of her and wanted to discuss getting back together. He readily admitted that she had been right about his lack of maturity and wanted to change things. Based on what had happened before, she was hesitant. She still liked him as well, however, and was willing to go slow and see if it could work.

Soon after, she stopped seeing her online men. It's been several months now and they are fully together again.

The best part of the story is what she learned after the fact. Remember how they hadn't spoken in three years? When he realized how much Lynx meant to him, he thought about seeking her out. He doubtful, however, about whether she was still in the same apartment or city and whether she was available. A friend of SJ's suggested that he check online to test whether she was still single.

Knowing her city and her deal-breaker traits, he did a search and found her. There was no picture or name to verify it was her, but he was pretty sure the description fit the Lynx. Finding this information is what gave him the courage to call her up.

In the end, Hula says this demonstrates that online dating does work. No, Lynx didn't meet her boyfriend online, but certainly it was the catalyst for getting back together. Had she not posted her profile online, how long would SJ have continued to pine for her without saying a word?


Sitcomgirl said...

Wow, that is such an awesome story!
Sometimes I really think things are all about timing.

Anonymous said...

Haha, I think that's a testament to 'everything happening for a reason' and following your instincts more than just a promotion for online dating :) Great story!