Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Questions looking for trouble

I got this question recently from a prospective suitor. Frankly, I think this kind of question can't possibly offer an answer that's going to satisfy anyone.

Describe your ideal mate.

I paused when I saw this. What kind of answer does a guy expect to this? I'm not the funniest person in the world, I don't know a funny way to get out of answering this. It seems like a no-win question - either you give an answer that makes it sound like you have impossible expectations or you make the other person feel like they'll never be good enough.

That I said, I did the best I could. I caveatted that no one's perfect and that I recognize that I don't expect to find a man like this. I reminded him there's undefinable chemistry that must exist between two people. And then, I had a little fun and sent him a laundry list.

I'd like some who's intelligent, has a great smile, is responsible, is relatively clean, will sing karaoke, dresses decently, can be romantic, is outgoing, speaks a foreign language enough to get directions, likes board games, eats healthy (most of the time), dances, is funny, is patient, doesn't do drugs, has regular sleep hours, is good with kids, has friends, enjoys spicy food, plays a musical instrument, is not afraid wear pink, etc.

Of course, now that I'm looking at it again, I realize I left out things like honesty, integrity, thoughtfulness, assertiveness, a hint of charm, a bit of geek, and the courage to try new things every once in awhile. It was a fun way to answer the question. Hopefully, it reveals some of the priorities for me but also shows that I want to have fun and hints at some of the things I like to do and would want to be able to share with another person. In and of itself, this exercise teaches me the importance of embellishing a simple response with a phrase (I don't know my grammatical terms) that hints at a reason or preference. It definitely makes for a more interesting read. Now the question is what did the guy think of my response?

Sadly, I don't think this guy appreciates sharing much detail (or at least putting some effort into his Internet communications). I know some people prefer to chat by phone or in-person, but come on, if you choose to try and date through the Internet, you need to make an effort. What am I supposed to do with this?

Describe an interest you hope to share with you partner.

His answer: Stargate SG1 or Atlantis

Does he really think this is sufficient? How am I supposed to get to know someone when the answers are so brief? That's nice, I understand he like sci-fi. Can you give me a little more explanation why this appeals to you? My temptation is to write back and say "Your answer seems to have been truncated by the system. Could you please tell me again about your interest in Stargate?"

Online dating these days is more for entertainment than much else these days. Is that a poor attitude? There's still a month left on my subscription so you gotta get your money's worth somehow. I admit I'm not trying too hard these days. I'm really just enjoying my summer and hanging out with friends. There's nothing like beautiful weather and happy people.

3 comments:

zerodoll said...

i liked your answer!

his on the shared interest? not so much. i will admit to not even knowing what the hell he is talking about. are those movies, video games, cartoons? yeah, he's a loser if he thinks that's going to attract a partner.

mini said...

sure you may have left out honesty, integrity, etc. etc., but your answer was light and fun and showed that you appreciate little quirky things about men.

and I know I'm playing into the scifi fan stereotype, but this guy totally sounds like a major nerd with some help in the social department

Sitcomgirl said...

It sounds like you are using the same dating site I tried. I never really liked the choices for most questions that they offered. It made communication more stressful than it should be. That being said, your answer was good, and he sounds lame. Maybe he wants you to enjoy going to sci-fi conventions?