Wednesday, November 07, 2007


Maybe it's just me, but I can't figure out what's up with Chi. Granted we spent A LOT of time together during the trip. We slept in the same room, tent, or hallway for two weeks. Naturally, I can understand that things could get a little awkward.

Still, in general, I found her silence unusual at times. In the month or two before the trip she was somewhat MIA. I met her for lunch two weeks before our trip and learned that she's pretty frustrated with her job. Chi's interviewed for a couple positions within her company, horizontal career moves, but gotten nowhere. In phone conversations with Juan, she's cried in frustration and disappointment. Her self-esteem is a bit in question.

On the trip, she seemed okay. I figured her quiet demeanor was part having nothing left to say to me and part exhaustion from our daily hikes at high elevation. She seemed cheerful and social with everyone else. The journey home probably didn't help matters. First, our transportation during our first segment was 40 minutes late in picking us up from the airport. The host made up a lame excuse about traffic on a Friday night. Well, he should have known that and left earlier.

The next morning, our flight was delayed by one hour and 15 minutes which caused us to miss our connecting flight back to the U.S. The airline in question would not give us a voucher for a hotel room because they claimed it was air traffic control's fault and therefore they were not responsible. I would agree that the last 15 minutes prior to landing was due to air traffic, but not the one hour sitting on the ground before we departed. That was clearly due to their lack of organization. Chi was furious but the arguing went nowhere. I was a bit nonchalant about it only because I knew there was no point in getting mad and yelling at the service people. I tried to convince her to stop fighting with the service people. Yes, they deserved some of the complaints, but at some point, it's not constructive.

It's now been a week since we've been home. I waited almost a week to talk to her figuring we both needed normal time with work and boyfriends. Everyone's been clamoring for a photo party and we had agreed during the trip to have a shared party. In her e-mails, however, she's been very unexcited about the idea. She keeps saying that she's too tired to do anything and doesn't have the energy to think about helping to organize. All I've asked of her is to host. Yes, she may have to clean a bit and wash dishes, but otherwise I've said that we'd simply buy some prepared food from Costco and ask people to bring appetizers. Her e-mail just seem so depressing with her lack of enthusiasm. She doesn't even plan to invite anyone beyond a couple of friends and family whereas I need to invite almost 20 people.

So I worry. Is she totally annoyed with me or is she back to some unhappy state as she was before the vacation? Sometimes I wonder if I said something in the past or on the trip that really bothered her. Part of me wants to reach out and ask, another part of me thinks I should leave it alone until after Thanksgiving and see if she is simply slow to recover from the toll of the trip.

In the meantime, I'm asking another friend if she would host the party. (My living room becomes a death trap with more than 12 people.) I'll take care of all the food to make thing smoother. Hopefully, things work out.


zerodoll said...

no offense intended, but if you're asking her to host and the majority of the people coming would be your invites, that might be why she's not so enthusiastic.

Pandax said...

Well, like I said, we already agreed to this before the trip ended.

This weekend, we happen to have a dinner for a late-bridal plus pregnancy celebration for a handful of girlfriends. She just wants me to bring a laptop and show a few pictures there saying "then we don't need to invite them to the gathering." Granted they will ask us about the trip and I don't mind sharing a little, but I don't want to dominate a party that's not meant to be about our trip.

Given that, yes, I agree that the invite list is imbalanced, but that's not what I had originally expected. It just seems like she's not interested in doing this at all which is why I'm searching for an alternate place to host.

Sitcomgirl said...

It might be just her being frustrated/depressed with her work situation or something else that's making her withdraw?
I would suggest just asking her if everything is ok with her and letting her know if she wants to talk about anything, whether it has to do with you or other outside things in her life you are there to listen to her.
And let her know that if the party seemed overwhelming to her that you're looking for another venue so that it doesn't affect your friendship.
I think the most important thing is to let her know that she is important to you (if she is) and that you are there to listen if she wants to talk.