Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Never leaves the city

Tongs was another fellow that I met from BAARE. He was cute though he had a young face. I enjoyed talking with him that night. I remember that I loved that he complained that Southern California was too hot for him which is why he prefers it here. Not many people make that comment and I felt I'd found a friend.

We agreed to meet for dinner in PA after work about two weeks after first meeting. I showed up on time but wasn't sure whether to wait at the door or go into the restaurant. I couldn't see well into the restaurant nor could I remember his face well. Thinking he'd be late, I stood outside reading the local paper.

Minutes later, my phone rang and it was Tongs calling because he was sitting down already and saw me outside. I felt a little embarrassed. We order two spicy dishes and chatted.

Everything seemed to go pretty well. I felt like we had some great conversation about living in the city and work. He had no problem admitting he's a city guy. He even acknowledged that he hates venturing outside of it. That was a bit odd but okay. He works rather difficult hours. As a technician for a financial company he has to be available the same hours as the market. That means he's up at 3am each day. I guess he rotates with one other guy so he has only does this for a week or so each month. Still - eeck. He acknowledged that he's been thinking about doing something different but the convenience of the city and time off peaks were nice.

After dinner, he asked I wanted to join him at a cafe. Wow, I thought that's pretty good that he still wants to hang out. I was enjoying his company, so I went along. I learned about his relationship with his parents. He talked about his married sister and trying to visit when he could. We talked about family and how we interact with various members of it. I learned that he's close with his uncle and how he's used as an IT resource but doesn't mind too much. Maybe he had a pattern that was routine for him to get to know women. The cafe conversation got very personal, something I don't expect much on a first date. I felt good that I could be myself and not worry about how he'd interpret what I said. It's what I've always sensed from tv and movies is supposed to be an important things to understand when you date someone. I thought we had done well.

Tongs was a gentleman throughout the evening. He gave me the leftovers, he opened doors, and he walked me to my car. On the way to the car, he asked for my last name. He said he like knowing people's last names. I think he was entering it into his cell phone. I'm not sure, but I think my choice of cars scared him. As we walked towards it, I pointed out that it was a station wagon. He seemed genuinely perplexed and maybe a little frightened by that fact. Oh well, I think that's silly if my "family" car scares a guy. I think it's a very practical car and I certainly chose it for different reasons though I acknowledge that I hope it will be used for family purposes someday.

The next day I thanked him for dinner. He wrote a very brief e-mail commenting that he enjoyed it as well. I never heard from him again. Whatever.

I talked with Is later that week. Turns out we had both had dates with Tongs. In both cases it seems things had gone well. But neither time did he choose to follow up. I wonder if he's a bit of a player? Younger men... (shrug shoulders).

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